1 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:23,152 Cherry ripe, Cherry ripe, 2 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:30,320 ripe I cry fools and fair ones come and buy! 3 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:39,760 Cherry ripe, Cherry ripe, ripe I cry... 4 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,639 Alice... 5 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,639 what's the matter, child? 6 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,199 You look as pale as a ghost. 7 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,997 I can't do it, Nanny! 8 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,438 They don't expect you to sing until after tea... 9 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,516 you've got another half an hour to practice. 10 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,039 And relax... drink a strong cup of herbal tea... 11 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,958 it's what I used to do when I was on the boards... 12 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,474 I can't do it. I can't sing. 13 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,112 It's just stage fright... 14 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,832 there's nothing to be afraid of... 15 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,438 I shall be with you... 16 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,909 it's all in the mind, child. 17 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,153 You can't make me sing! 18 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,310 I won't! I won't! 19 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,476 Now, we'll have none of that, young lady. 20 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,716 Everyone's here. Have you seen my... 21 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,400 Mummy, please don't make me sing! 22 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,079 She's a little nervous, Ma'am. 23 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,912 Perfectly natural... I've seen it often. 24 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,716 Alice, you promised me and your father. 25 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,631 All the guests are so looking forward to it. 26 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,676 It's expected. 27 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,699 Of course, dear, if you really don't want 28 00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:44,157 to your father and I will understand 29 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,589 though we'll be very disappointed. 30 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,797 I don't want to disappoint you and daddy. 31 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:51,999 Don't worry darling... 32 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,032 I'm sure you'll make us all very proud. 33 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,474 And remember Alice, whatever happens... 34 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:06,638 flood or earthquake... the show must go on. 35 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,156 "Cherry ripe, cherry ripe, 36 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:15,634 ripe I cry... fools and fair ones come and buy... 37 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,592 Oh what am I going to do, Dinah? 38 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,395 Of all the songs I have to sing "Cherry Ripe"! 39 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,752 How can they expect me to sing in front of all these strangers. 40 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,720 I'll go back later when it's all over! 41 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,035 Oh dear, oh! 42 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,550 Oh me! Oh, oh, 43 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:04,989 oh dear, oh dear, oh dear 44 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:09,989 I'll be so late! Oooh, Oh me. 45 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,115 Oh dear. 46 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:25,072 I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to? 47 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:29,433 I've no idea what Latitude and Longitude are, but they're grand words 48 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,191 Longitude and Latitude 49 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:43,960 Oh my furry ears and whiskers, look how late it's getting! 50 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:56,477 Perhaps I fell right through the earth, and come out the other side... 51 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,315 I shall have to ask somebody the name of the country... 52 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,109 "Please Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?" 53 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,871 That's strange... 54 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,390 Now that I'm in, how do I get out? 55 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,714 If only I was smaller... 56 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,594 That wasn't there before, 57 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,513 I wonder if it's alright to drink. 58 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,160 If you drink too much from a bottle marked poison 59 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,596 it's almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later. 60 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,035 This bottle's not marked "Poison". 61 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,115 Hmm... 62 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:48,948 Oh no. 63 00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,994 Now what am I supposed to do? 64 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,828 Curiouser and curiouser. 65 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:27,279 If it makes me grow taller then I can reach the key... 66 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:31,952 and if it makes me grow smaller I can creep under the door... 67 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,638 either way I'll get into the garden! 68 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,719 I'm stuck, 69 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,316 I'm stuck. What am I suppose to do? 70 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,395 Oh! The Duchess'll be absolutely savage if I keep her waiting. 71 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,869 Please sir, can you help me?! 72 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,872 Are you crying? 73 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,515 Yes. 74 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,312 Well, fortunately I speak "crying" and "sobbing" fluently... 75 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,959 but I can't stay... 76 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,754 - I'm late! - No. 77 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,840 Yesterday everything was so normal... 78 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,709 Now look at me. I'm huge, and I'm stuck! 79 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,669 I wonder what's making me grow smaller? 80 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,311 It must be this fan. 81 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,274 Mr Mouse! 82 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,553 Mr Mouse... 83 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,508 Mr Mouse. 84 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,876 How did you know my name, young lady. 85 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,679 You did look like a mouse... 86 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,557 I'm late. Come with me, 87 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:22,236 I've a very important lecture to deliver and everyone will be there! 88 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:30,471 My lectures, my lectures have to be seen and heard to be depreciated... 89 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,994 of course they divide people... 90 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,759 Last time the whole audience hissed. 91 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,394 Hissed! All except one man. 92 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,351 He was applauding the hissing. 93 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:48,239 What am I going to talk about? What am I going to do? 94 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:53,991 Whatever it is I'll talk about, you can be sure it isn't new 95 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,997 Not new. 96 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,878 Not new. 97 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,232 I am an English lecturer 98 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,231 The most famous of my time. 99 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,198 Because I stick with the same old words 100 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,670 And never change a line. 101 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,515 Not a line, 102 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:21,840 not, not a line... 103 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:25,999 Not a line... 104 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:31,028 My mother couldn't carry a tune not even if it had handles. 105 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,833 Silly old trout. 106 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,190 A most depressing venue... 107 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,875 The distemper's coming off at the knees... 108 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,352 Still the audience look lively enough. 109 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:57,749 That's the main thing... 110 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,468 I mean they're not dead. Not yet... 111 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,799 What's your name, if it isn't a rude question? 112 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,955 Alice. 113 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,672 Oh well, 114 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,039 that's not your fault... 115 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:09,998 Err... you're wet! 116 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,359 Sit down... 117 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,949 I'll soon make her dry enough. 118 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:19,113 My lecture is the driest thing I've ever heard of. 119 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,073 Settle down everybody whilst I clear my throat. 120 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,555 Get on with it! 121 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,755 Walnuts! 122 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,034 Oh well, 123 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,593 now then... 124 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,553 "William the Conqueror, 125 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,354 whose cause was favored by the Pope, 126 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,953 Ooooh... 127 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,149 Did you speak? 128 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,357 I don't think so. 129 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:55,589 "Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of Mercia and Northumbria, 130 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,272 declared for him... 131 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:02,076 and even Stigand, the patriotic Archbishop of Canterbury 132 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:07,314 found it advisable to go with Edgar Altheling to meet William 133 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,829 and offer him the crown. 134 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,672 How are you getting on now, my dear? 135 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,669 I'm as wet as ever, it doesn't seem to dry me at all. 136 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,354 Are you sure? 137 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,110 I don't like the sound of it. 138 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,434 None of use do... 139 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:26,673 in which case I move that the meeting adjourn... 140 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,879 And we immediately, if not sooner, 141 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:37,637 adopt more energetic remedies to facilitate a cure for wetness, per se... 142 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,789 Speak English! 143 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,668 What I was going to say was, ipso facto... 144 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:49,029 the best thing to get her dry would be... 145 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,868 a caucus-race! 146 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,599 What's a caucus-race?! 147 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,639 A caucus-race! A caucus-race! 148 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,199 What's a caucus-race? 149 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,838 I'll pack a few things! 150 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,989 Now you're talking. 151 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,311 Yes I'm talking, now what's a caucus-race?! 152 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:09,354 The best way to explain a caucus-race is - to do it. 153 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,350 On your marks, 154 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,157 get set... 155 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,153 go! 156 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,672 It's a blistering race! 157 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:37,869 An extraordinary display of skill, determination and sheer stupidity! 158 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,148 They're all cheating! 159 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,911 That's caucus-race! 160 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,313 So perish all enemies of the Tsar! 161 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,755 And there's more where that came from! 162 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,552 So you think I'm a cheat do you?! 163 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,278 No just deformed. 164 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,750 No man calls me deformed unless he's certified! 165 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,070 Look! Look... the finishing post! 166 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:30,635 Who's won?! 167 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:32,749 Who's won?! 168 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,072 I vouchsafe that everybody won... 169 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,076 and that we must all have prizes. 170 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,912 Who's going to give the prizes?! 171 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,753 Why, Alice of course! 172 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,516 Um... 173 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,269 Ha! 174 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,670 I think it's time we were all in bed with a cup of hot chocolate. 175 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,030 Indubitably! 176 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:25,875 Wait. 177 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,758 Where are you all going. 178 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,389 Wait! 179 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,269 Oh the Duchess! 180 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,679 Oh the Duchess! 181 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,752 Oh, my sweet paws. Oh my fur and whiskers! 182 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,236 She'll get me executed as sure as ferrets are ferrets. 183 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,713 Oh what've you lost, sir? 184 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,791 A pair of white kid gloves and a fan. 185 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,439 Oh... I'll help you find them. 186 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,155 Hm hm, what are you doing here?! 187 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,233 I'm trying to get into the beautiful garden. 188 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,113 Run home and fetch me another pair of gloves and a fan! 189 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,589 Quick! 190 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,951 He's treating me as if I'm his housemaid! 191 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,155 Frederick Rabbit's house! 192 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,196 He lives very well for a rabbit. 193 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,834 Some of these things must be priceless... 194 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,796 or even more expensive. 195 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,795 It doesn't say "Drink Me" like the other bottle. 196 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,910 I'm sure it'll make something interesting happen. 197 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,590 I just hope it makes me grow large again. 198 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,312 Err - that's enough! 199 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,433 Oh dear - what am I going to do?! 200 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,629 Oh, dear! 201 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,035 Hm... 202 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,356 It's stuck. 203 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,308 I'll try the back window. 204 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:30,719 Wah! 205 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,156 Uh - oh... 206 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,392 Pat! Pat! 207 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,791 I'm here, your honour, I'm here. 208 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,474 I was er, out the front digging for apples... 209 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,737 Ah, for sure, it's a dewy dawn when the larks 210 00:23:46,738 --> 00:23:49,393 on the wing and the snail's on the horn. 211 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,472 What? Oh not now, Pat... just help me out of this. 212 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,751 Alright, come on, up come on. 213 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,114 Lets have you. 214 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,556 Oh, oh no. That won't do the vegetables any good, your honour. 215 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,636 Why're we growing cucumbers, Pat? 216 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,551 Because they're green, your worship. 217 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,428 I thought so... Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window? 218 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,032 Let's have a look. Hang on a sec. 219 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,474 That's an arm your worship! 220 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,791 An arm! Whoever saw an arm that size? 221 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,552 No-one, but sure, it's still an arm. 222 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,239 Well it's no business there... remove it! 223 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:22,556 Me, your worship? 224 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,870 Yes, you. Are you a coward? 225 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,393 Oh no, not at all... 226 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,159 I might have coward's legs but the rest of me's brave as a lion. 227 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,117 There's nothing to be afraid of. 228 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,349 Well then you do it! 229 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,238 I'm too rich, I can't afford to die. 230 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,394 Will somebody please help me? 231 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,755 I'm stuck! 232 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,188 I'm stuck! 233 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:51,279 Why won't anyone help me? I can't do it by myself! 234 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,555 Why do you keep failing like that. Your honour? 235 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:54,959 I like it! 236 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,434 - Oh help me up. - Oh, right so. 237 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,750 Here take me right hand, there we go... 238 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,916 No that... That's me right hand! 239 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,991 Oooo, ooo. Bill! 240 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:05,476 Hello! 241 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:06,675 You're needed, lad! 242 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:08,508 What's the matter, sirs? 243 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,239 The Master's got a terrible case of the 'falls'! 244 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:13,349 Get a ladder! 245 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,039 Oh! Right. 246 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,758 Now be careful with the ladder, lad 247 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,195 You might... hit... Oh! 248 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,269 Oh... 249 00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:27,395 Sorry sir! 250 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,631 Oh. Put the ladder up against the house. 251 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,030 Oh, yes, yes that's good. 252 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,712 Now climb up. 253 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:36,876 What for? 254 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,099 You've got to get on the roof, slide down 255 00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:41,238 the chimney and see who's in the house. 256 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:42,070 Why? 257 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:44,873 Because I can't get through the door or windows. 258 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,036 Ah now sir, that's a mighty clever idea. 259 00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:49,236 But you see, I've got a bad back for chimneys. 260 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:50,719 I inherited it from my mother. 261 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,671 We've always had terrible backs for chimneys! 262 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,716 Oh you do it, Bill! 263 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:55,510 Who me? 264 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:56,788 Yes you! 265 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,950 Oh... alright then. 266 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,949 Quick. Hurry! 267 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,317 Now careful, Bill, there's a loose slate up there somewhere. 268 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,314 Ah, good man, you've found it! 269 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,835 Pat, tell him to climb down the chimney. 270 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:32,676 Bill. 271 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:33,431 Ow. 272 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:34,674 Climb down the chimney! 273 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,039 He shouldn't do that?! 274 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,357 Not down the chimney... don't try it! 275 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,630 Ya-hoo! 276 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:11,715 There goes Bill. 277 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,276 Oh. Oh dear. 278 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,120 Bill! Bill! What happened, lad? 279 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,515 Hold up his head... here's brandy 280 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,312 Ah thank you, your worship 281 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:25,913 Not you! 282 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,357 Ah sorry, purely medicinal, runs in the family. 283 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,668 What happened, Bill? 284 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:32,917 Well something comes at me, 285 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:38,632 like a Jack-in-the-box, and then up I goes like a sky-rocket. 286 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,915 Spoken like a true Irishman, Bill. 287 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,638 I don't like the look of this. 288 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,159 There's nothing for it! 289 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,714 We must burn down the house! 290 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,954 Good thinking, your worship. 291 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,315 Would you like me to sing some melodies of Old Ireland? 292 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,790 No, just burn down the house! 293 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,233 Oh, no you don't! 294 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,593 You're not burning down this house while I'm inside! 295 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,033 Ha ha. A barrow full should do! 296 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,115 Ready, aim... 297 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:13,956 Fire! 298 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:21,192 Ah, stop it. You'd better not do that again! 299 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:35,230 Hmm. 300 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,070 They're not real pebbles 301 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,839 They're soft like sponge cakes... 302 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,396 Now I must go and find that lovely garden. 303 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,990 No one will think of looking for me there. 304 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,519 Everything seems different from down here. 305 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,518 I have to keep looking up. 306 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,835 I'm sure little people must get very bad neck strain. 307 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,629 It's enough to make a cat bark. 308 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,952 I used to read fairy tales, 309 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,032 I never thought I would end up in the middle of one. 310 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,991 There ought to be a book written about me. 311 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,109 Maybe when I grow up I'll write one. 312 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,148 Sir. 313 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,600 Sir, who do I have the honour of addressing? 314 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,230 Major Caterpillar, ribbon and bar... 315 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,072 Late of "Her Majesty's Foot and Light"... 316 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,628 A true son of England and it's flag what... 317 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:43,990 Who're you? 318 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,991 I don't really know. 319 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,917 If you don't, I don't! 320 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,156 I know who I was this morning 321 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,198 but I think I've been changed several times since then. 322 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,556 Explain yourself or you'll find yourself on a charge. 323 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:03,716 Well, I can't explain myself, sir, because I'm not myself, you see. 324 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,159 No, I don't see. 325 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,673 Everyone should be the right size, shouldn't they. 326 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:13,158 But I've been so many different sizes in one day it's very confusing. 327 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:14,468 Why? 328 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,318 Well, if you were to change... 329 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,234 into a butterfly say you'd find it quite strange, wouldn't you? 330 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,589 Not a bit of it! Nothing's strange to me! 331 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,671 I don't think you should talk to me like that. 332 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:26,357 Like what? 333 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:27,759 In short sentences. 334 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,518 Oh, ah a ooo... 335 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,199 All I know is that it's very disturbing, 336 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,271 sometimes I start crying. 337 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,031 Why? 338 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,953 Because I don't remember things like I used to 339 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,958 and I can't keep the same size for ten minutes together. 340 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,473 That's a rum do. 341 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,317 I'd keep an eye on it if I were you... 342 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,436 Can't remember what things exactly? 343 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:47,959 Songs and poems. 344 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,037 Gad, it's worse than having a beri-beri. 345 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:56,438 Umm, recite "You Are Old, Father William". 346 00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,275 Stand up, girl... you can't sing or recite without standing up. 347 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,112 Well that's just it... I don't want to! 348 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:03,713 No, no elbows all wrong. 349 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,279 Tuck'em in! Tuck'em in! 350 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,351 Good! Try and keep in tune! 351 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,993 "You are old, Father William", the Young Man said 352 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,469 "And your hair has become very white; 353 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,712 And yet you incessantly stand on your head. 354 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,833 Do you think, at your age, this is right?" Hmm? 355 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,474 I don't know if you were trying for the 356 00:33:30,475 --> 00:33:32,988 "Paganini Variations" for voice and trumpet, 357 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:34,991 but you missed five verses. 358 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,350 Some of the words did get a little altered. 359 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,591 Young lady, it was wrong from beginning to end. 360 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,279 And you can't get wronger than that! 361 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,670 I'm afraid that's what always happens when I have to perform! 362 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,595 You mustn't be afraid, that's worse than not remembering. 363 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,119 Oh... dear! 364 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:53,553 What size do you want to be?! 365 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,318 Speak up! Speak up! 366 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:56,873 I don't care about the size, 367 00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,071 just so long as I'm not changing all the time, you know. 368 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:01,269 No, I don't know. 369 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,635 There you go again with short sentences! 370 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,359 There you go, losing your temper. 371 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,317 It's against Queens Regulations! 372 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,197 Do you like your size right now? 373 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,590 I'd like to be little taller... this is a terrible height to be. 374 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,473 Terrible?! Gad, woah! 375 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:22,598 One side will make you taller and the other side will make you shorter. 376 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,517 One side of what? 377 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:27,794 The mushroom... 378 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,472 that's what it's there for... 379 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,594 everything has a purpose even here. 380 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,398 Thank you, Major. 381 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,438 Ha ha ha ha ha... 382 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,679 One side makes me taller. 383 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,072 The other side will make me shorter. 384 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,630 I wonder which one is which. 385 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,149 Mmmm... 386 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:45,557 I think I'll keep these, they may come in handy later. 387 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:49,796 That looks respectable, 388 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,112 I wonder if they'll be able to give me directions... 389 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:15,749 For the Duchess, an invitation from the Queen to play croquet. 390 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,469 From the Queen, an invitation for the Duchess to play croquet. 391 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:24,879 An invitation to play croquet, from the Queen, for the Duchess. 392 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,159 I've got the gist. 393 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:29,995 Are you sure? 394 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:34,790 Yes, it's an invitation from the Queen for the Duchess to play croquet. 395 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:41,311 Hm, I wouldn't put it quite like that, but it'll have to do I suppose. 396 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,232 It's no good you knocking like that. 397 00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:13,948 Why not? 398 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:15,832 Two good reasons. 399 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:20,198 One, because I'm on the same side of the door as you... 400 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,479 Oh yes. 401 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:27,390 Two, they're making so much noise inside, no-one can hear you. 402 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,995 But how am I going to get inside? 403 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:31,877 That is the question. 404 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:37,439 The problem. You might even say, the conundrum or riddle. 405 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,238 Yes, I might. 406 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,551 There'd be some sense in you knocking if we had a door between us. 407 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:47,512 I could go and get a spare door but that would take too long. 408 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,349 On the other hand, if you were inside the house, 409 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,000 you could knock, and I could let you out... 410 00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:59,828 Knock, knock... 411 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,789 This way out, Madame. 412 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:07,470 But I don't want to go out, I want to go in! 413 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:12,629 Of course, but if you did want to go out it'd be much easier. 414 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:19,037 Meanwhile, I'm going to sit here until tomorrow. 415 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,791 Or the next day perhaps, 416 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:26,476 or even for a whole week, 417 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,349 then I can come back by popular demand. 418 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,639 But how am I supposed to get inside? 419 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,757 I need to ask them a question. 420 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,192 Will you ever get in, is the question you should be asking? 421 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:44,154 I'm going to sit here for days thinking about it and singing 422 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,195 "Coming Through the Rye". 423 00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:53,472 Dee da dada dar dee dar da dar dee dar dee dar dum 424 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:57,434 It's no use talking to you! I'll just have to do it myself. 425 00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,317 That's the spirit! 426 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:07,436 Pepper! 427 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,998 I want pepper! 428 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:18,029 Pepper! More pepper... 429 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,031 More pepper! 430 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:28,634 More pepper! 431 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,750 Please could you tell me why your cat is grinning at me like that? 432 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,277 He's a Cheshire-Cat. 433 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,555 Cheshire-Cat's always grin. 434 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,673 Isn't that so, Piggy? 435 00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:55,312 I didn't know Cheshire-Cats always grinned. 436 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,392 In fact I didn't know cats could grin. 437 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,829 Uh ho, well you don't know very much then do you. 438 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,148 Isn't that so Piggy! 439 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:07,679 Are you really a Duchess? 440 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:11,629 Every inch! 441 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:17,428 Pepper! Pepper! Pepper! 442 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,560 Be careful! You almost hit his poor little nose! 443 00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:23,869 Nonsense! 444 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,799 He can already play "Three Blind Mice" on his nose-flute! 445 00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:31,953 What do you want little Miss?! 446 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,150 I want to know how to get into the garden? 447 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:36,515 Oh - now you're talking, 448 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,990 but I prefer singing to talking, don't you? 449 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,235 Let's have a song. 450 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:45,791 "Speak roughly to the little boy, 451 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:50,311 And beat him when he sneezes. 452 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,437 He only does it to annoy. 453 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:58,395 Because he knows it teases." 454 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:19,155 "I speak severely to my boy, 455 00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:22,915 I beat him when he sneezes. 456 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:30,000 For he can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when he pleases" 457 00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:54,992 Here you nurse for a bit... 458 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,476 I've got an appointment... can't wait. 459 00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:03,469 Pepper! More pepper! 460 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,028 I best get you out of here. They're sure to kill you! 461 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:11,394 More pepper! Pepper! 462 00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:17,508 I thought you wanted to go in? 463 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,079 I've been in... now I'm coming out. 464 00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,076 Life is so complicated! 465 00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:30,558 You mustn't grunt like that. You sounds as if you've turned into a pig. 466 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:37,871 You have turned into a pig! 467 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:39,993 I'd best let you go. 468 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:46,356 Go on. 469 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,399 When he gets older he'll make a very ugly child... 470 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,232 or a very handsome pig... 471 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,351 Now which way? 472 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:04,798 Ah! 473 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,637 Cheshire-Puss, can you tell me which way to go? 474 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,599 Well that depends on where you want to get to. 475 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:12,750 The garden! 476 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:14,359 Why do you want to go there? 477 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:15,959 It looks safe. 478 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:20,039 Sometimes things that look safe turn out nasty... 479 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:23,112 and things that look nasty turn out safe. 480 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,713 That's immoral. 481 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,999 What sort of people live around here? 482 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:32,437 Well a Hatter lives over there. 483 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,109 Follow my pointed paw. 484 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:47,994 And a gentleman called Hare nicknamed March lives there. 485 00:43:48,240 --> 00:43:50,356 They're probably having a tea party. 486 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:51,518 They're both mad. 487 00:43:52,339 --> 00:43:53,873 But I don't want to meet mad people. 488 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,559 Oh, but you can't help it, everyone here is mad. 489 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,279 I'm mad, you're mad. 490 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,432 It's only by chance and careful planning if you're not. 491 00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,351 How do you know I'm mad? 492 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,039 Because you're here! 493 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,674 And everyone here is mad. 494 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,912 I went to a Hunt Ball once, I didn't like it... 495 00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:17,630 Terrible people. They all started hunting me! 496 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,956 Hm... Life must be hard for you? 497 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,758 But I grin a bear it... 498 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,797 By-the-by, what became of the baby? 499 00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:29,118 It turned into a pig. 500 00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,836 I knew it would, it's the same with crows and moor-hens. 501 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,714 Did you say "pig" or "fig"? 502 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:41,912 I said "pig". 503 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:45,316 And I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and disappearing so suddenly. 504 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:46,952 You're making me very dizzy! 505 00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,433 So sorry... is this better? 506 00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:01,757 Which way shall you go? 507 00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:03,512 Which path shall you take? 508 00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,956 If you don't take any you will make a mistake. 509 00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,718 Which way shall you go? 510 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,472 Which path shall you take? 511 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,951 You have to move on though you tremble and quake... 512 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:21,036 Hmm the Cheshire Cat was right. They are having tea. 513 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,509 I wonder if they'd mind if I joined them? 514 00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,795 Have you any more food down there, Dormy? 515 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,838 Any spoilt sandwiches or strawberries? 516 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,195 I love strawberries, don't you? Aha ha ha ha. 517 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,350 I'm sure he's hoarding them! 518 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:38,555 Oh haw haw haw... 519 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,632 I'm lost... could I... get 520 00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:43,073 No room. 521 00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:44,513 There's no room. 522 00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,837 There's plenty of room. 523 00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,877 Why didn't you report this sooner, Hatty? 524 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,433 I overslept. 525 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,990 Why're you here? 526 00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,719 Well, I've been looking for the pretty garden all day... 527 00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:00,512 and now I'm tired, and hungry. 528 00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,511 Oh, that's different. 529 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,194 We've been eating for hours. 530 00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:06,395 And we've not finished yet. 531 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,671 Waiter, waiter, there's a hair in my soup! 532 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,638 Is it blonde? We're missing a waitress. 533 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,273 Have some wine! 534 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,869 I don't see any wine. 535 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,588 There isn't any and you're too young. 536 00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,274 Then it wasn't very nice of you to offer it. 537 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:37,199 It wasn't very nice of you to sit down without an invitation. 538 00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:40,437 This is a private soiree. 539 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,670 Well I suppose I should've just barged in. 540 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:47,311 I know I wasn't invited but the table was laid out for a lot of people. 541 00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,153 My response to that is both profound a meaningful. 542 00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:51,879 Get your hair cut! 543 00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,798 You shouldn't make personal remarks, it's very rude. 544 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,796 I didn't know that. Personal remarks are rude? 545 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:05,829 Hm hmm. 546 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,116 E'gad, you learn something new everyday. 547 00:47:08,240 --> 00:47:11,357 Make a note of that, Marchy, it might come in useful. 548 00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,633 Now I have one for you... 549 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,558 Why is a raven like a writing desk? 550 00:47:19,240 --> 00:47:21,629 Why is a raven...? 551 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,512 I'm not talking to you... 552 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,438 Why not, aren't I good enough? 553 00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,516 You've heard it before. 554 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,672 But you were looking at me when you said "Why is a raven...?" 555 00:47:31,720 --> 00:47:33,039 I'm asking Alice! 556 00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:42,079 Um, why is raven like a writing desk. 557 00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,913 You know - I'm pretty sure I can guess. 558 00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,994 You mean you think you know the answer? 559 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:50,396 Yes. 560 00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,272 Then you should say what you mean. 561 00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,993 Well I do... at... at least... 562 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,752 At least I mean what I say... 563 00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,273 That... that is the same thing. 564 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,151 It's not the same thing at all. 565 00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:05,677 You might as well say "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see" 566 00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:12,556 You might as well say "I like what I get" as "I get what I like." 567 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:14,509 Ahhh! Oh! 568 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,192 You or you might as well say 569 00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:23,280 "I breathe when I asleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe." 570 00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:25,118 Well it is the same with you! 571 00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:30,157 No no, oh I need some sleep. 572 00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:31,355 Clean cups! 573 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,230 Time marches on it's stomach! Ah ha ha ha. 574 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,270 It's an army that marches on its stomach. 575 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,877 Odd sort of army, marching on it's stomach. 576 00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:49,230 I don't like the idea. Yuck! 577 00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,313 What day of month is it? 578 00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:52,796 The fourth. 579 00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,757 Ah-ah! Two days wrong! 580 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,155 I told you not to use butter. 581 00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,915 - It was the best butter. - Danish. 582 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,912 Some crumbs must've got into it as well... 583 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,709 I said, "don't put butter in the works with a bread knife". 584 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,718 I couldn't put it in with a fork could I? 585 00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,153 Here, let me see. 586 00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:16,195 I don't want to give it to you - but I will. 587 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:19,997 Ohh! 588 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:21,354 Ahhgh! 589 00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:26,393 I don't understand it... it was the best butter. 590 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:27,629 Danish. 591 00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,119 That's a funny watch. 592 00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,553 It tells the day of the month but not the time. 593 00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:39,192 Why should it... does your watch tell you what year it is? 594 00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,389 No. Because it stays a year for so long. 595 00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:43,873 Oh well then I rest my case. 596 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:44,955 Where? 597 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:45,916 There! 598 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,673 I know when I'm beaten. 599 00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:55,036 Oh look. Mr Dormouse is asleep again. 600 00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,438 It tells you a lot about your conversation... 601 00:49:59,720 --> 00:50:01,631 Sparkle, Miss, sparkle! 602 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,199 Of course, of course, 603 00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,989 I was just going to say that myself... I'm... 604 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:09,036 I'm asleep... again... 605 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,393 Have you guessed the riddle about the raven yet? 606 00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:17,120 Um hmm no, I give up... what's the answer? 607 00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,236 I haven't the slightest idea. 608 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,799 Nor me. 609 00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,377 I think you should all do something better with the time 610 00:50:23,460 --> 00:50:25,713 than wasting it on asking stupid riddles. 611 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,952 If you knew Time the way I do, you wouldn't talk about wasting "it". 612 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,991 Time is a "him". 613 00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,235 "It" isn't polite. 614 00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,197 I don't know what you mean. 615 00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:37,798 Of course you don't! 616 00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,155 Because you've never spoken to Time have you? 617 00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,159 Well I have. 618 00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,993 We used to be very good friends... 619 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:49,279 We served the Empire, in many a distant post before they all got woodworm. 620 00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:52,600 But we quarreled last March... 621 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,597 just before he went mad. 622 00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,193 Flatterer! 623 00:50:57,280 --> 00:51:00,113 It was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts! 624 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:03,476 Quick, stop him, he's going to sing... too late! 625 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,233 Thank you ladies and gentlemen. How terribly sweet of you. 626 00:51:07,240 --> 00:51:12,473 And now for a little encore I'd like to a song entitled "Auntie's Wooden Leg". 627 00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:14,476 Maestro, if you please... 628 00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:22,033 "Oh Auntie's wooden leg, Auntie's wooden leg. 629 00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:25,755 We'll paint it red and call it Fred or Ned or Ted. 630 00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:29,509 Oh, Auntie's wooden leg. Auntie's wooden leg. 631 00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:35,112 Everybody said it was well and truly dead, oh Auntie's wooden leg... 632 00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:36,832 I say, I say, I say!" 633 00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,798 How dare you interrupt my song with "I say, I say, I say!" 634 00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:40,949 I say, I say, I say... 635 00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:44,077 In this world it's not what you know, but who you know. 636 00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:45,639 I don't know either one of them. 637 00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:47,756 Kindly leave the stage by the red door. 638 00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,434 There's a fifty foot drop on the other side! 639 00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,431 But we're still good friends... 640 00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:53,919 Dohh! 641 00:51:54,280 --> 00:52:01,280 Auntie's wooden ohh... 642 00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:09,749 Uh ha, oh dear dear dear dear dear. 643 00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:14,478 Auntie's wooden leg. Aunties wooden leg, we'll... 644 00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,596 That's enough of that... or she'll walk out. 645 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,270 That's what the audience did at the concert. 646 00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:20,793 Try another song. 647 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,152 We're desperate men. 648 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:28,199 "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat. 649 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:32,068 How I wonder what you're at! 650 00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:39,160 Up above the world you fly. Like a tea-tray in the sky. 651 00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:43,559 Twinkle, twinkle, little twinkle, 652 00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:47,399 You don't speak but you will twinkle. 653 00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:54,279 Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, little bee, 654 00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:57,511 Twinkle, twinkle, 655 00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:04,600 I'm so glad it isn't me... 656 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,677 Lovely isn't it? It could almost pass for singing. 657 00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:33,670 "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..." 658 00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,237 Anyway, I'd hadn't finished the second verse at the concert 659 00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,915 when the Queen bawls out... "He's murdering the tunc! 660 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,274 Off with his head!" 661 00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:46,189 How terrible for you. 662 00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:49,750 You're very understanding for a small girl. 663 00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:52,913 Anyway, if you'll pardon the expression, 664 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:56,151 Time took of fence to our performance. 665 00:53:56,240 --> 00:53:57,753 Uh - your performance! 666 00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:03,554 And ever since then he won't do a thing we ask... he stopped time. 667 00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,557 Could he stop time for me? 668 00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:09,952 I have to sing a song. 669 00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:14,551 Oh wonderful! We're all performers here. 670 00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:18,275 The roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd... 671 00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:19,873 nothing like it! 672 00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:21,399 But I don't want to! 673 00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,718 Don't want to perform? 674 00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:30,116 - It's unnatural. - No, no, no. Stage fright. 675 00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:35,913 I remember my first performance, I shook so much my hat fell off. 676 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:39,596 If Time stopped time for you, he could stop time for me. 677 00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:41,756 But he only stops time at tea-time. 678 00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:43,919 So it's always tea-time here? 679 00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:45,759 Tell us a story. 680 00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:48,109 I don't know any. 681 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,475 Then Dormy will. 682 00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:51,954 Wake up, Dormy! 683 00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:56,390 Ahhrgh! I wasn't asleep. 684 00:54:56,520 --> 00:55:02,117 Oh no... I heard every word you fellows said... 685 00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,430 Tell us a story! 686 00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:05,316 Please do! 687 00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:08,319 And do it quick, otherwise you'll fall asleep before you've finished it. 688 00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:10,118 Once upon a time there were three sisters, 689 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,992 Elsie, Lacie and Tillie and they lived at the bottom of a well. 690 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:14,593 What did they live on? 691 00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:18,237 What did they live on? Treacle! 692 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,998 That would've made them ill. 693 00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:23,072 It did. It made them very ill. 694 00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:24,389 Have some more tea! 695 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,357 More tea! More tea! 696 00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:30,195 I've had nothing yet so I can't have more! 697 00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:31,799 You mean you can't have less. 698 00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:33,916 It's very easy to have more than nothing. 699 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,678 Especially if you're poor. 700 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,829 I'd still like to know why they lived at the bottom of the well? 701 00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:44,430 Ah, oh well, it was a treacle-well! 702 00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:48,549 A treacle well?! There's no such thing! 703 00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:53,519 Disgraceful! You'll hear from my solicitor in the morning! 704 00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:56,757 Outrageous! What about a letter to the "The Times"?! 705 00:55:56,840 --> 00:56:00,276 If you can't be civil you can finish the story yourself. 706 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:01,799 No, no... I'm sorry... 707 00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,632 I won't interrupt you again... 708 00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:05,950 I'm sure there must be, at least, one treacle-well. 709 00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:07,433 Now, where was I? 710 00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:12,435 Oh yes... so these three sisters were learning to draw... 711 00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:14,035 Draw what? 712 00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:15,753 Treacle! 713 00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:17,479 Hole in one! 714 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,993 I want another clean cup... everyone move! 715 00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,751 What I don't understand is, how they could draw treacle? 716 00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:35,519 You can draw water out of a water-well, can't you? 717 00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,238 Good one, Hatty! Good one! 718 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,916 I don't think I like this Tea Party as much as I thought I would. 719 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,275 Then you shouldn't talk, just hum... 720 00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,237 because we know you socially, Alice. 721 00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,039 It doesn't mean we're going to introduce you to our friends. 722 00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:52,599 We haven't got any. 723 00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:53,590 But if we had! 724 00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:55,716 Ah, if we had! 725 00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:57,995 I'm no staying here listening to you being rude! 726 00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,588 You'll find better places for that I'm sure! 727 00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,114 Of course she will, if she's lucky! 728 00:57:03,240 --> 00:57:05,117 Besides it's going to rain. 729 00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,040 It never rains but it pours. 730 00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:16,280 If it does, we carry on... we're little heroes, aren't we, Dormy? 731 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:19,836 Officer, these men are criminals! 732 00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:23,512 Who's got his ear trumpet?! 733 00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:26,718 It's the most stupid tea-party I've ever been to. 734 00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:28,279 I told you he wouldn't fit. 735 00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:31,875 He'll fit, we have to try harder. 736 00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:33,991 I heard that... try harder. 737 00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,072 Oh ah. No that's my nose. 738 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:42,029 No mind my ears... 739 00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:55,193 That's curious... 740 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:21,953 Hmm... This time I'll manage things better. 741 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:15,989 Mmm... 742 00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:20,991 At last. The perfect place to hide. 743 00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:31,551 Oh look out there, Mr Five, you're splashing paint! 744 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,473 I couldn't help it, Mr Two, Mr Seven jogged my elbow. 745 00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:37,478 Oh that's right, shifting the responsibility again! 746 00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:38,754 Ha, you can talk. 747 00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,035 I heard the Queen say you deserved to be beheaded. 748 00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:41,711 What for? 749 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:42,471 Tulip-roots. 750 00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:43,396 What? 751 00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:46,153 For bringing the Cook tulip-roots instead of onions. 752 00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:47,758 Is that all? 753 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:49,956 That's a mistake anyone can make! 754 00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:53,790 Hello... 755 00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:57,035 Hello! 756 00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,276 Why are you painting the roses red? 757 00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:04,196 The fact is, Miss, this tree ought by rights to've been a red rose-tree, 758 01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:06,191 and we planted a white one by mistake. 759 01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:07,918 Easy thing to do. 760 01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:08,790 Yes. 761 01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:10,233 If the Queen was to find out... 762 01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:12,436 well, the fact is we'd all have our heads cut off. 763 01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:15,159 So you see, Miss, we're doing our best to put things right. 764 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:16,389 Before she comes. 765 01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:29,078 Ah! She's coming now! 766 01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,633 The Queen! The Queen! 767 01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:46,360 Left right, left right, left right, left, 768 01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:55,469 Halt! 769 01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:06,273 And who is this? 770 01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:09,758 I agree entirely. 771 01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:12,635 Don't be ridiculous! 772 01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,557 Would I lie to you, Your Majesty? 773 01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:15,550 Yes. 774 01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:18,518 Oh well thank you, compliments are always welcome. 775 01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:21,998 You're an idiot! 776 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,752 That's right your Majesty. 777 01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:27,114 Only you could spot that, it takes one to know one. 778 01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:30,431 A complete idiot! 779 01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:34,389 Your name, child? 780 01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:39,072 Alice, if it please Your Majesty. 781 01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:40,955 Why have we stopped? 782 01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:44,955 And who are these? 783 01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,232 How should I know? I'm a stranger here. 784 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,713 Off with her head! 785 01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:55,199 Off with her head! 786 01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,916 Off with her her head! 787 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,958 Stop losing your temper... it's vulgar! 788 01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:04,598 Consider, my dear, she's just a child. 789 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,192 You think so? 790 01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,915 Yes that would account for it. 791 01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:19,197 Children have no respect for their betters these days. 792 01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:23,710 You three get up! 793 01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:26,712 Stop doing that! You're making me dizzy! 794 01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:28,715 What is this? 795 01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:31,309 If you please Your Majesty, we're trying... 796 01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:36,235 Yes, you are aren't you... 797 01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:43,551 Very trying... ha ha ha... 798 01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:45,955 Off with their heads. 799 01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:00,278 I won't let you be beheaded. 800 01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:02,234 Quick jump in here. 801 01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:31,197 Do you play croquet? 802 01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:33,759 Who, me?! 803 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:35,918 Yes, you! 804 01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:40,632 I'm not in the habit of talking to myself 805 01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:46,238 if that's the only way I can get an intelligent conversation round here... 806 01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:52,518 Can you play Croquet? 807 01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:54,190 Yes. 808 01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:56,678 Come on then! 809 01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:04,034 Nice day. 810 01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:06,191 Very... Where's the Duchess? 811 01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,953 Oh - Hush... Hush... she's due to be executed. 812 01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:14,074 Get to your places! 813 01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:36,716 Don't look at me... look down. 814 01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:12,631 Off with his head. 815 01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:15,110 Off with her head. 816 01:06:16,040 --> 01:06:18,679 Off with her head. 817 01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:22,839 I don't like it here... they're too fond of beheading people... 818 01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:29,670 Ah it's the Cheshire Cat! 819 01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:33,195 Hello, there... 820 01:06:33,440 --> 01:06:34,668 How do you like the game? 821 01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:36,832 They don't play very fair. 822 01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:39,189 But nobody does if they think they can get away with it. 823 01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:40,918 That's a lesson you'll have to learn. 824 01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:43,474 Well, I should've croqueted the Queen's hedgehog 825 01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:45,551 but my hedgehog wouldn't roll into a ball. 826 01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:48,837 Well you've got to look at it from the hedgehog's point of view. 827 01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:50,871 Yes, I suppose I should have. 828 01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:53,192 How do you like the Queen? 829 01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:58,517 I don't... she's so extremely... 830 01:07:02,520 --> 01:07:06,433 likely to win, that it's hardly worth finishing the game. 831 01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:11,795 There's a good, good little girl. 832 01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:13,429 Charming. 833 01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:15,799 Charming. 834 01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:19,195 Who're you talking to? 835 01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:22,832 A friend of mine. Cheshire Cat, this is the King. 836 01:07:23,400 --> 01:07:26,756 Urghh - I don't like this at all... 837 01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,474 but as you're in the presence you may kiss my hand. 838 01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:30,919 I'd rather not. 839 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:32,035 What?! 840 01:07:32,120 --> 01:07:35,635 That's rank insubordination and you know what that leads to... 841 01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:39,038 And don't look at me like that! 842 01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:40,951 A cat may look at a King. 843 01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:42,635 What does that mean? 844 01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:43,994 I read it in a book somewhere. 845 01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:45,798 I haven't, but it sounds immoral. 846 01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:47,996 It has undertones. That book should be banned. 847 01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:50,548 I like the sound of that. 848 01:07:50,600 --> 01:07:53,990 Ah, my dear, how do we get rid of a floating cat? 849 01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:56,072 Off with its head! 850 01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:57,429 Brilliant! 851 01:07:57,520 --> 01:07:59,556 I knew I could rely on you, my dear. 852 01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:01,219 I'll just go and fetch the executioner! 853 01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:05,433 Do you know where my hedgehog went? 854 01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:08,155 He rolled away over there. 855 01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:43,390 Now stop it, it's alright I'm not going to hurt you. 856 01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:47,833 All that's necessary is a swift chop to the back of the neck! 857 01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:49,274 It's difficult! 858 01:08:49,480 --> 01:08:51,675 But I must have a ruling! 859 01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:53,239 I appeal to you, little girl! 860 01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:55,669 You've still got a good head on your shoulders! 861 01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:58,515 No thanks to you. 862 01:08:58,640 --> 01:08:59,709 What?! 863 01:08:59,800 --> 01:09:01,392 Ohh! 864 01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:04,114 I can't hear what you say. 865 01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:06,072 One at a time please! 866 01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:08,668 I'm sorry about my altitude. 867 01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:11,519 It smacks of revolution! You're above us! 868 01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:15,957 My argument is simple and based on irrefutable logic. 869 01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:17,917 I'm Chief Executioner. 870 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:21,515 But I can't cut off an head unless there's a body to cut it from. 871 01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:23,830 This here cat, hanging up there, 872 01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:27,799 large as life and twice as repulsive, has no body... 873 01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:31,270 ipso facto, I cannot separate it from hit's head... 874 01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:34,432 My argument is, I venture to say, overwhelming. 875 01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:37,592 Anything that has a head can be beheaded. 876 01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:40,592 And don't forget I'm also a Justice of the Peace. 877 01:09:40,720 --> 01:09:44,474 There's too much talk and not enough action. 878 01:09:44,560 --> 01:09:46,869 And if something doesn't happen in a minute, 879 01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:50,356 I'm going to have everybody executed! 880 01:09:50,480 --> 01:09:52,198 You choose, little girl. 881 01:09:52,480 --> 01:09:56,155 To behead or not to behead, that is the question. 882 01:09:56,280 --> 01:09:59,636 What's the answer, girl?! 883 01:10:00,200 --> 01:10:05,115 You have to tread with care when dealing with cats. 884 01:10:05,360 --> 01:10:11,151 They have influence and are seen in all the smart places. 885 01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:14,475 You remember the Great Cat Massacre. 886 01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:18,556 Ah, yes, I was forgetting. 887 01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:20,238 Catastrophe. 888 01:10:20,320 --> 01:10:23,118 I'd think carefully before acting rashly. 889 01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:26,677 Sound advice, little girl. 890 01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:35,991 And another thing, 891 01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:39,319 the cat belongs to the Duchess. 892 01:10:39,760 --> 01:10:43,548 She's in prison... fetch her! 893 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:51,357 I remember the Great Cat Massacre of '28... nasty business. 894 01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:56,076 Yes it was just after the Great Flamingo Plague of '26 wasn't it? 895 01:10:56,160 --> 01:10:57,639 - Shhh. - What?! 896 01:10:58,480 --> 01:11:00,630 Ahh... Duchess. 897 01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:07,359 Think carefully before answering this question... 898 01:11:08,280 --> 01:11:11,590 Is this your cat?! 899 01:11:16,280 --> 01:11:17,315 No! 900 01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:19,994 No? It isn't? 901 01:11:20,160 --> 01:11:23,391 I was told... ahh, it's gone! 902 01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:25,516 It's your fault! It was in your custody! 903 01:11:25,640 --> 01:11:30,714 It wasn't official, so it's nothing to do with me, mate. I'm in the clear! 904 01:11:30,800 --> 01:11:33,712 Help me find it! Everybody help! 905 01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:50,556 Quick, quick. Quick. 906 01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:57,991 Oh, you can't think how glad I am to see you again, you old thing. 907 01:11:58,480 --> 01:11:59,469 Thank you. 908 01:12:00,640 --> 01:12:02,073 You look worried, my dear? 909 01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:04,594 I don't want to go back and sing that song. 910 01:12:04,640 --> 01:12:06,392 The show must go on. 911 01:12:06,440 --> 01:12:07,589 Why? 912 01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:09,989 Life would be very dull if it didn't. 913 01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:12,435 Off with your head. 914 01:12:12,520 --> 01:12:14,078 The game's going better now. 915 01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:15,752 And the moral of that is... 916 01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:20,636 "the more there is of mine, the less there is of yours". 917 01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:24,673 Or you could say "fortune favours the brave". 918 01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:26,398 I could and I will... 919 01:12:26,480 --> 01:12:30,792 "fortune favours the brave". Oh that's a good moral. 920 01:12:30,840 --> 01:12:33,229 You are a clever old thing you. Ohh! 921 01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:37,869 Fine day, Your Majesty. 922 01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:42,835 I gave you fair warning. 923 01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:50,040 Either you or your head must be OFF! 924 01:12:59,920 --> 01:13:05,233 Now, my dear, we can finish our game, before you leave. 925 01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:07,556 I'm frightened of going back. 926 01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:10,319 They want me to do things I don't want to do. 927 01:13:10,440 --> 01:13:14,831 To stay, you have to know the password. 928 01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:16,752 I don't know it. 929 01:13:16,880 --> 01:13:18,279 Guess. 930 01:13:19,640 --> 01:13:20,868 "Penny-whistle". 931 01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:22,675 Guess again. 932 01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,353 "Lions and Unicorns". 933 01:13:25,440 --> 01:13:30,150 Almost but not quite. It's "Honeycomb". 934 01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:32,431 Can you write that word down? 935 01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:33,839 Mmm yes. 936 01:13:34,440 --> 01:13:35,668 Blindfolded? 937 01:13:36,280 --> 01:13:37,235 Well... 938 01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:38,548 I thought not! 939 01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:49,119 Come, come, this won't do. Everybody play! 940 01:13:52,760 --> 01:13:55,558 Off with their heads. 941 01:13:56,560 --> 01:13:59,120 Off with their heads. 942 01:13:59,320 --> 01:14:05,634 Off with everyone's heads! 943 01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:11,077 This isn't such a lovely garden after all. 944 01:14:12,040 --> 01:14:13,917 Now where have I got to? 945 01:14:24,440 --> 01:14:28,638 Hmm... That looks like the coat of arms we have at home. 946 01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:06,113 Hello. Who are you? 947 01:15:06,320 --> 01:15:07,514 Alice. 948 01:15:07,640 --> 01:15:12,077 Alice? That sounds familiar. 949 01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:13,479 And who are you? 950 01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:15,558 A gryphon... 951 01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:20,555 part eagle, part lion. 952 01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:23,234 The best of each I always say. 953 01:15:23,360 --> 01:15:26,352 Hmm, I thought you were a mythical creature? 954 01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:32,635 I am... that makes me even more fascinating. 955 01:15:32,720 --> 01:15:35,154 Is there a way out of this maze, sir? 956 01:15:35,240 --> 01:15:37,754 Let's ask Mr Mock Turtle. 957 01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:42,432 He's my best friend... splendid fellow. 958 01:15:43,160 --> 01:15:45,993 True blue through and through... 959 01:15:58,960 --> 01:16:01,394 Rise and shine, old chum. 960 01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:34,676 Oh, is there something wrong? 961 01:16:34,760 --> 01:16:37,228 No, no, no. It's his fancy. 962 01:16:37,320 --> 01:16:43,873 Who knows what sad thoughts tiptoe through the mossy glades of his mind. 963 01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:51,192 I know how to cheer him up. 964 01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:55,552 Ah, Mockers tell this young lady about yourself. 965 01:16:56,560 --> 01:17:00,633 She's come to right person for that... sit down, both of you. 966 01:17:00,760 --> 01:17:02,239 Er no thanks, I've heard it before. 967 01:17:02,280 --> 01:17:05,192 Sit down... it's the least you can do. 968 01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:20,600 Once, ahhh haaa... I was a real turtle 969 01:17:22,320 --> 01:17:25,756 I was a real... I was a real... 970 01:17:30,960 --> 01:17:33,599 Thank you for that very interesting story sir. 971 01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:35,113 I haven't started yet! 972 01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:37,390 Stay, you may learn something. 973 01:17:37,800 --> 01:17:40,473 You must've learned a lot since you've been down here? 974 01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,710 Yes I suppose I have. 975 01:17:43,120 --> 01:17:46,795 When Gryph and I were little, we went to school in the same sea, 976 01:17:46,920 --> 01:17:50,754 and the Master was an old turtle. We used to call him "tortoise". 977 01:17:50,880 --> 01:17:54,919 Why would you call him "tortoise" if he wasn't one? 978 01:17:56,160 --> 01:17:59,789 We called him " tortoise "because he taught us. 979 01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:05,637 You ought to be ashamed of yourself, asking a simple question like that. 980 01:18:07,200 --> 01:18:11,671 He taught us reeling and writing, and the basic fundamentals of Arithmetic. 981 01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:16,316 Ambition, Distraction, Qualification and we also learnt Drawling 982 01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:19,710 The Drawling Master was an old conger-eel. 983 01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:25,238 He taught us Drawling. Stretching and Fainting in Coils. 984 01:18:25,360 --> 01:18:26,349 Whoao! 985 01:18:26,440 --> 01:18:27,919 What was that like? 986 01:18:29,440 --> 01:18:30,395 I'll show you. 987 01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:39,149 I'll have it in a minute. 988 01:18:55,240 --> 01:18:56,992 I can't show it to you myself. 989 01:18:57,080 --> 01:18:58,798 I'm a little too stiff. 990 01:18:59,400 --> 01:19:02,119 Old age is not for weaklings. 991 01:19:02,280 --> 01:19:04,336 And Gryphon, here, never learnt it, did you, Gryph? 992 01:19:04,420 --> 01:19:05,958 I didn't time... 993 01:19:06,040 --> 01:19:10,716 I went to the Classical Master though... what an old crab he was. 994 01:19:10,840 --> 01:19:12,751 Tell her about the games! 995 01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:14,597 Woo Cho cho cho cho choo... 996 01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:18,155 You may never have lived in the sea 997 01:19:18,240 --> 01:19:20,834 so you've probably never been introduced to a lobster. 998 01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:23,036 I once tasted a lo... 999 01:19:23,160 --> 01:19:24,479 You what-what-what-what?! 1000 01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:25,879 Nothing. 1001 01:19:26,240 --> 01:19:28,674 You've never seen a Lobster-Quadrille then?! 1002 01:19:28,760 --> 01:19:31,115 No, what sort of dance is that? 1003 01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:32,758 Ha da cha cha cha chaa... 1004 01:19:32,800 --> 01:19:34,877 This will give you some idea of what it looks like. 1005 01:19:34,960 --> 01:19:37,911 First you have to clear away all the jelly-fish. 1006 01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:41,191 You don't want to dance on top of a lot of jelly-fish, do you? 1007 01:19:41,240 --> 01:19:43,913 Yah! Woo, Mmmm. 1008 01:19:44,840 --> 01:19:46,717 You have a line of dancers... 1009 01:19:46,840 --> 01:19:50,833 turtles, salmon, cod, skate. Whoever's available. 1010 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:53,315 And each one has a lobster Don't forget about the lobsters! 1011 01:19:53,400 --> 01:19:58,354 Yes, then you advance twice, change lobsters and retire in the same order... 1012 01:19:58,640 --> 01:20:03,668 Then, you throw the lobsters into the air. 1013 01:20:05,120 --> 01:20:07,031 Then you change lobsters again. 1014 01:20:08,560 --> 01:20:12,189 And that, little girl, is the first figure of the dance! 1015 01:20:12,320 --> 01:20:13,548 It's a beautiful dance. 1016 01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:16,558 Oh, it is and it costs a pretty penny. 1017 01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:18,312 And a few ugly ones too. 1018 01:20:18,640 --> 01:20:20,790 Now, we'll show it to you. 1019 01:20:24,720 --> 01:20:28,998 "Will you walk a little faster?" Said a whiting to a snail. 1020 01:20:29,040 --> 01:20:33,272 "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail, 1021 01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:37,558 See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! 1022 01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:41,957 They are waiting on the shingle. Will you come and join the dance? 1023 01:21:01,200 --> 01:21:05,318 See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! 1024 01:21:05,400 --> 01:21:09,712 They are waiting on the shingle. Will you come and join the dance? 1025 01:21:09,800 --> 01:21:11,597 Dance! 1026 01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:15,713 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, join the dance? 1027 01:21:15,800 --> 01:21:16,357 Dance! 1028 01:21:16,440 --> 01:21:21,468 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you - join the dance?" 1029 01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:22,709 Dance! 1030 01:21:24,400 --> 01:21:28,359 Thank you. It was a very interesting dance to watch. 1031 01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:31,512 And no wise fish would ever go anywhere without a porpoise. 1032 01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:33,718 - Wouldn't it really? - Course not. 1033 01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:36,255 Why, if a fish came to me and said he was going on a journey, 1034 01:21:36,340 --> 01:21:37,917 I'd say "with what porpoise?" 1035 01:21:38,440 --> 01:21:39,839 So you like performing then? 1036 01:21:40,320 --> 01:21:41,992 No... I hate it. 1037 01:21:42,120 --> 01:21:44,315 Oh you know you mustn't it's such fun. 1038 01:21:44,360 --> 01:21:45,270 Stand up. 1039 01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:46,759 Oh you are standing up. 1040 01:21:46,800 --> 01:21:49,837 Recite "Tis voice of the sluggard". 1041 01:21:49,920 --> 01:21:51,035 She doesn't know that! 1042 01:21:51,120 --> 01:21:52,030 I do. 1043 01:21:52,120 --> 01:21:53,439 Recite it then! 1044 01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:58,759 "Tis the voice of the Lobster I heard him declare. 1045 01:21:58,800 --> 01:22:00,756 You have baked me too brown. I must sugar my hair 1046 01:22:00,800 --> 01:22:04,031 As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose. 1047 01:22:04,120 --> 01:22:07,317 Trims his belt and his buttons and turns out his toes" 1048 01:22:10,320 --> 01:22:11,594 You've got it wrong. 1049 01:22:14,080 --> 01:22:16,833 I keep getting things wrong today... 1050 01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:20,788 I think you'd better sing "Turtle Soup" instead, 1051 01:22:20,880 --> 01:22:22,472 if you would, Old Fellow. 1052 01:22:22,600 --> 01:22:24,158 You don't have to ask me twice. 1053 01:22:24,200 --> 01:22:25,519 He'll sing at the drop of a hat. 1054 01:22:25,560 --> 01:22:27,790 I haven't got a hat, but if I had and it dropped it, 1055 01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:29,499 I'd sing before it touched the ground. 1056 01:22:29,580 --> 01:22:31,589 You're in for a treat, Alice... 1057 01:22:33,080 --> 01:22:37,437 Master... an undiscovered virtuose. 1058 01:22:37,600 --> 01:22:42,196 And he plays the spoons... show her your reviews. 1059 01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:46,068 Later... Later, I'm in my singing mode right now. 1060 01:22:49,200 --> 01:22:56,200 "Beautiful Soup so rich and green, 1061 01:22:56,480 --> 01:23:02,555 Waiting in a hot tureen! 1062 01:23:02,680 --> 01:23:09,472 Who for such dainties, would not stoop? 1063 01:23:09,600 --> 01:23:13,718 Soup of the evening, 1064 01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:17,236 Beautiful Soup! 1065 01:23:17,320 --> 01:23:24,320 Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! 1066 01:23:26,200 --> 01:23:29,954 Beau-ootiful Soo-oop! 1067 01:23:30,040 --> 01:23:32,998 Beau-ootiful Soo-oop! 1068 01:23:33,120 --> 01:23:37,796 Soo-oop of the e-e-evening. 1069 01:23:37,920 --> 01:23:44,920 Beau-ootiful, soo-oo... take it Alice! 1070 01:23:46,040 --> 01:23:50,318 Soo-oop! 1071 01:23:50,440 --> 01:23:52,954 Needs a little work, but we'll get it. 1072 01:23:54,320 --> 01:24:01,320 Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish. 1073 01:24:02,160 --> 01:24:07,678 Game or any other dish! 1074 01:24:07,800 --> 01:24:12,112 Who would not give all else 1075 01:24:12,160 --> 01:24:19,160 for two Pennyworth only of Beautiful Soup! 1076 01:24:24,200 --> 01:24:27,829 Beau-ootiful Soo-oop! 1077 01:24:27,920 --> 01:24:31,799 Beau-ootiful Soo-oop! 1078 01:24:31,880 --> 01:24:37,159 Soo-oop of the e-e-evening. 1079 01:24:37,280 --> 01:24:39,280 Beau-oooo... 1080 01:24:52,480 --> 01:24:58,669 tiful soooo-oooop!" 1081 01:24:59,480 --> 01:25:04,270 And now my dear - I think you're ready to find your way 1082 01:25:04,400 --> 01:25:08,837 And they say this sort of thing is only for the rich. 1083 01:25:09,280 --> 01:25:11,510 One more chorus, dear fellow! 1084 01:25:12,840 --> 01:25:16,515 Beau-ootiful Soo-oop! 1085 01:25:16,600 --> 01:25:20,513 Beau-ootiful Soo-oop! 1086 01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:25,435 Soo-oop of the e-e-evening. 1087 01:25:25,600 --> 01:25:27,600 Beau-oooo... 1088 01:25:41,480 --> 01:25:46,508 tiful soo-oop. 1089 01:25:51,320 --> 01:25:54,756 Beau-ootiful soup so... 1090 01:26:04,240 --> 01:26:05,878 Oh dear. 1091 01:26:06,080 --> 01:26:07,911 I was forgetting... 1092 01:26:21,600 --> 01:26:25,513 Ah, perhaps this is the way out. 1093 01:27:21,720 --> 01:27:25,235 Ahoy! Ahoy! She's my prisoner, you know! 1094 01:27:25,320 --> 01:27:27,151 And I've come to rescue her. 1095 01:27:27,240 --> 01:27:29,117 We'll have to fight for her. 1096 01:27:29,200 --> 01:27:31,839 You'll observe the rules of battle, of course. 1097 01:27:31,920 --> 01:27:33,831 I always do. 1098 01:27:34,080 --> 01:27:35,069 Good man. 1099 01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:46,672 Take that! Oh! 1100 01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:09,037 Curse my weak wrists! 1101 01:28:09,200 --> 01:28:11,555 You're worthy opponent, sir. 1102 01:28:11,640 --> 01:28:13,358 Another day perhaps? 1103 01:28:13,440 --> 01:28:14,668 Another day, sir! 1104 01:28:38,680 --> 01:28:39,954 Thank you very much... 1105 01:28:40,200 --> 01:28:43,112 That was a glorious victory, wasn't it? 1106 01:28:43,200 --> 01:28:46,210 As an encore I do the Battle of Agincourt. 1107 01:28:46,340 --> 01:28:48,017 Here let me help you take your helmet off. 1108 01:28:48,018 --> 01:28:49,393 Yes... 1109 01:29:02,640 --> 01:29:06,952 Oh, I can breathe now. 1110 01:29:11,640 --> 01:29:12,709 Thank you. 1111 01:29:26,840 --> 01:29:29,593 I see you're admiring my box. 1112 01:29:29,800 --> 01:29:32,997 It's my own invention to keep sandwiches in. 1113 01:29:33,080 --> 01:29:37,835 You see I carry it upside-down so they don't get wet when it rains. 1114 01:29:38,080 --> 01:29:41,709 But they can drop out, the lid is open. 1115 01:29:43,080 --> 01:29:46,675 So that's what happened to my sandwiches! 1116 01:30:02,960 --> 01:30:04,712 Do you know why I did that? 1117 01:30:04,840 --> 01:30:05,909 No. 1118 01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:07,672 It's now a bee's nest. 1119 01:30:08,200 --> 01:30:10,395 I should be getting some honey very soon. 1120 01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:14,400 But you already have a bee-hive. 1121 01:30:14,480 --> 01:30:16,357 Oh, one of the best... 1122 01:30:16,440 --> 01:30:18,351 but the bees won't come near it. 1123 01:30:18,480 --> 01:30:19,708 Same with this. 1124 01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:21,637 It's better mouse-trap. 1125 01:30:23,040 --> 01:30:24,837 Come to think of it 1126 01:30:24,960 --> 01:30:29,397 I shouldn't be surprised if the mice don't keep the bees out... 1127 01:30:29,480 --> 01:30:32,631 or the bees keep the mice out... one or the other. 1128 01:30:34,440 --> 01:30:36,476 But why would you need a mouse-trap? 1129 01:30:36,520 --> 01:30:39,956 You won't find many mice running around on the backs of horse's. 1130 01:30:40,080 --> 01:30:44,835 But if there were he'd be protected, wouldn't you old chap. 1131 01:30:51,320 --> 01:30:52,435 Are you alright? 1132 01:30:53,720 --> 01:30:57,030 I hope you've got your hair fastened on tight? 1133 01:30:59,200 --> 01:31:01,509 Only in the usual way. 1134 01:31:01,760 --> 01:31:04,991 Well, that's not good enough. 1135 01:31:05,800 --> 01:31:09,634 The wind is as strong as soup around here. 1136 01:31:09,760 --> 01:31:11,796 You must be ready for anything. 1137 01:31:11,880 --> 01:31:14,235 Then nothing can frighten you. 1138 01:31:31,800 --> 01:31:34,360 You don't seem to have much riding practice. 1139 01:31:34,400 --> 01:31:35,913 What makes you say that? 1140 01:31:36,040 --> 01:31:37,678 You keep falling off your horse. 1141 01:31:37,800 --> 01:31:40,439 I've had plenty of practice at that... plenty of practice. 1142 01:31:40,880 --> 01:31:42,438 Yes, I suppose you have. 1143 01:31:42,520 --> 01:31:44,875 The art of riding is to keep your balance. 1144 01:31:45,120 --> 01:31:46,075 Hold this. 1145 01:31:46,600 --> 01:31:47,350 What is it? 1146 01:31:47,480 --> 01:31:50,313 I forget but I know it was a bargain... 1147 01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:56,153 Plenty of practice... plenty of practice... 1148 01:31:59,760 --> 01:32:01,113 Mr Knight! 1149 01:32:21,000 --> 01:32:25,232 You see, our bodies are driven by our legs 1150 01:32:25,320 --> 01:32:28,312 and our legs are driven by our feet... 1151 01:32:28,440 --> 01:32:31,079 How can you go on talking when you're like this? 1152 01:32:31,560 --> 01:32:32,788 Like what? 1153 01:32:32,920 --> 01:32:35,798 Head-downwards and body in the air. 1154 01:32:38,600 --> 01:32:41,876 What does it matter where my body happens to be? 1155 01:32:41,960 --> 01:32:45,077 My mind goes on working just the same. 1156 01:32:45,160 --> 01:32:48,072 It's a hive of activity. 1157 01:32:48,160 --> 01:32:52,233 Ideas! Ideas! Ideas! 1158 01:32:52,320 --> 01:32:56,996 In fact the more head-downwards I am, the more I keep inventing things. 1159 01:32:57,080 --> 01:33:01,676 The cleverest thing I ever invented I thought of head-downwards. 1160 01:33:01,760 --> 01:33:03,193 And what was that? 1161 01:33:03,280 --> 01:33:04,599 A new pudding. 1162 01:33:05,120 --> 01:33:07,839 Come to think of it, I don't believe that pudding was ever cooked. 1163 01:33:08,880 --> 01:33:11,075 Why, what was it made of? 1164 01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:12,714 Blotting-pepper! 1165 01:33:13,320 --> 01:33:15,709 Uh, that wouldn't have been very nice. 1166 01:33:16,440 --> 01:33:18,158 Not very nice alone... 1167 01:33:18,240 --> 01:33:22,995 but mixing it with other things like gunpowder and sealing wax 1168 01:33:23,080 --> 01:33:26,868 gives it a true taste of the Cordon-Bleus... 1169 01:33:29,320 --> 01:33:31,038 Now I must leave you. 1170 01:33:31,200 --> 01:33:35,876 I've still dragons to slay and young ladies to rescue. 1171 01:33:36,600 --> 01:33:40,354 You look worried. You're too young to worry. 1172 01:33:40,440 --> 01:33:42,874 Look at me I don't worry. 1173 01:33:42,960 --> 01:33:47,511 Well, I was thinking about the things I have to do when I go home... 1174 01:33:48,240 --> 01:33:49,753 You're going home? 1175 01:33:50,760 --> 01:33:53,957 I don't want to but perhaps I should. 1176 01:33:54,440 --> 01:33:59,719 Just be brave. And always get back on your horse. 1177 01:34:01,320 --> 01:34:05,108 Just keep your balance at all times. Yes, yes. 1178 01:34:05,240 --> 01:34:07,754 Can you tell me the how to get out of the forest? 1179 01:34:07,880 --> 01:34:09,393 Plenty of practice, pl-ahhh! 1180 01:34:09,480 --> 01:34:10,629 Before you go! 1181 01:34:10,720 --> 01:34:13,917 Good-bye! Just be brave! 1182 01:34:14,120 --> 01:34:15,269 Mr Knight! 1183 01:34:47,600 --> 01:34:49,477 Oh, Tiger-lily, 1184 01:34:49,600 --> 01:34:52,910 I wish you could talk so you could tell me how to get out of this wood? 1185 01:34:53,040 --> 01:34:58,592 I can talk when there's anybody worth talking to. 1186 01:34:59,480 --> 01:35:01,038 Can all flowers talk? 1187 01:35:01,160 --> 01:35:02,354 As well as you... 1188 01:35:02,440 --> 01:35:05,352 It isn't manner for us to speak first. 1189 01:35:05,440 --> 01:35:07,510 We were wondering if you'd speak. 1190 01:35:07,600 --> 01:35:09,795 I thought your face had got some sense on it. 1191 01:35:09,880 --> 01:35:11,313 Not much, but some. 1192 01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:14,392 Hmm but the colouring's right. 1193 01:35:14,480 --> 01:35:16,869 Oh, I don't care about her colour... 1194 01:35:17,000 --> 01:35:20,549 If only her petals curled more she'd be all right. 1195 01:35:20,760 --> 01:35:22,876 Aren't you frightened of growing out here, 1196 01:35:22,920 --> 01:35:24,876 with no-one to look after you? 1197 01:35:24,920 --> 01:35:28,549 There's plenty of trees. What else are they good for? 1198 01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:30,835 But what good are trees when danger comes near? 1199 01:35:30,920 --> 01:35:33,309 They have a good bark. 1200 01:35:33,440 --> 01:35:36,079 You didn't know that did you?! 1201 01:35:36,560 --> 01:35:38,391 Silence all of you! 1202 01:35:40,240 --> 01:35:43,516 They're only like that because I can't get at them, 1203 01:35:43,800 --> 01:35:45,711 they're to close to the ground. 1204 01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:53,396 If you're not polite, I'll make you into a chain! 1205 01:35:55,800 --> 01:35:59,713 Daisies are worst of all, next to Snap-Dragons. 1206 01:36:01,080 --> 01:36:04,038 How is it that all of you can talk so well? 1207 01:36:04,120 --> 01:36:07,874 I've been in lots of gardens and I've never heard flowers talk before. 1208 01:36:07,960 --> 01:36:09,473 Feel the ground. 1209 01:36:13,880 --> 01:36:15,438 It's very hard. 1210 01:36:15,640 --> 01:36:19,792 Ah, in most gardens the flower-beds are too soft, 1211 01:36:19,840 --> 01:36:21,751 so the flowers are always asleep. 1212 01:36:21,840 --> 01:36:24,559 I see... I never thought of that. 1213 01:36:24,640 --> 01:36:28,553 In my opinion, I doubt if you ever think at all. 1214 01:36:31,720 --> 01:36:34,314 Hold your tongue, all of you! 1215 01:36:34,480 --> 01:36:36,038 Now which way out of the wood? 1216 01:36:36,360 --> 01:36:37,429 That way. 1217 01:36:38,120 --> 01:36:39,314 That way. 1218 01:36:39,560 --> 01:36:41,994 Ere this way... that way! 1219 01:36:42,080 --> 01:36:44,116 Definitely that way. 1220 01:36:44,200 --> 01:36:48,079 That way! That way... er. 1221 01:36:48,120 --> 01:36:50,350 Over there! Don't step on us! 1222 01:37:15,560 --> 01:37:20,588 Look, we're standing still as waxworks. 1223 01:37:20,760 --> 01:37:22,352 And if you think we're waxworks 1224 01:37:22,440 --> 01:37:25,079 you should pay for the privilege of looking. 1225 01:37:25,720 --> 01:37:28,109 Wax-works aren't made to be looked at for nothing. 1226 01:37:28,320 --> 01:37:30,311 No-how! 1227 01:37:30,400 --> 01:37:35,713 Contrariwise, if you think we're alive, we ought to introduce ourselves. 1228 01:37:36,760 --> 01:37:41,959 I am Mr Tweedledum and this is Mr Tweddledee. 1229 01:37:42,800 --> 01:37:43,710 I'm Alice. 1230 01:37:45,320 --> 01:37:48,596 Does the name Veronica Buff mean anything to you? 1231 01:37:48,640 --> 01:37:50,153 No, who is she? 1232 01:37:50,240 --> 01:37:53,277 I don't know but we're obviously doing her a favour mentioning her. 1233 01:37:53,360 --> 01:37:55,920 Do you think she'll be grateful if she becomes famous? 1234 01:37:56,120 --> 01:37:57,348 No-how! 1235 01:37:58,400 --> 01:38:01,153 I was just thinking of that poem of you two. 1236 01:38:01,840 --> 01:38:03,831 "Tweedledum and Tweedledee. 1237 01:38:03,920 --> 01:38:05,558 Agreed to have a battle. 1238 01:38:05,640 --> 01:38:08,108 For Tweedledum said Tweedledee 1239 01:38:08,200 --> 01:38:10,794 Had spoiled his nice new rattle. 1240 01:38:10,880 --> 01:38:13,440 Just then flew down a monstrous crow. 1241 01:38:13,520 --> 01:38:15,556 As black as a tar-barrel. 1242 01:38:15,720 --> 01:38:17,790 Which frightened both the heroes so. 1243 01:38:17,880 --> 01:38:19,916 They quite forgot their quarrel. 1244 01:38:24,440 --> 01:38:26,158 There's no monstrous crow! 1245 01:38:26,480 --> 01:38:28,789 You recited that poem very nicely. 1246 01:38:28,880 --> 01:38:30,598 Congratters... but it isn't us, 1247 01:38:30,640 --> 01:38:31,834 No-how! 1248 01:38:31,920 --> 01:38:34,992 No it's another set of er Tweedledums and Tweedledees. 1249 01:38:35,040 --> 01:38:38,635 Altogether completely different people, the names are the same. 1250 01:38:39,000 --> 01:38:40,956 Contrariwise, you began all wrong. 1251 01:38:41,000 --> 01:38:43,673 Yes yes. After you said "I'm Alice", 1252 01:38:43,720 --> 01:38:46,632 you should've said "How do-dee" and shake hands. 1253 01:38:46,920 --> 01:38:47,796 Da-daa, 1254 01:38:48,080 --> 01:38:50,275 Now shake! 1255 01:38:54,640 --> 01:38:56,153 Here we go round the mulberry bush, 1256 01:38:56,240 --> 01:38:57,832 the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush. 1257 01:38:57,920 --> 01:38:59,751 Here we go around the mulberry bush, 1258 01:38:59,800 --> 01:39:01,631 On a cold and frosty morning. 1259 01:39:05,160 --> 01:39:07,196 Twice around is enough for any dance! 1260 01:39:07,600 --> 01:39:09,431 I hope you're not too tried? 1261 01:39:10,240 --> 01:39:14,313 No way, no way. Thank you for asking. 1262 01:39:17,440 --> 01:39:22,309 As we began with poetry and song, let's continue that way. 1263 01:39:22,400 --> 01:39:25,119 I'm sorry I haven't the time. 1264 01:39:27,080 --> 01:39:30,117 Neither have we. We never carry a watch. 1265 01:39:30,240 --> 01:39:31,878 No-how! 1266 01:39:33,360 --> 01:39:36,591 The poem's called "The Walrus and the Carpenter". 1267 01:39:36,680 --> 01:39:37,749 You'll love it. 1268 01:39:41,360 --> 01:39:42,588 Da-daa! 1269 01:39:43,160 --> 01:39:44,479 You start brother mine. 1270 01:39:46,520 --> 01:39:48,988 The sun was shining on the sea. 1271 01:39:49,080 --> 01:39:50,638 Yes, yes, yes... 1272 01:39:50,760 --> 01:39:52,512 The Sun was shining on the sea. 1273 01:39:52,600 --> 01:39:54,192 Shining with all his might. 1274 01:39:54,280 --> 01:39:57,078 He did his very best to make the billows smooth and bright. 1275 01:39:57,120 --> 01:39:59,759 And this was odd, because it was the middle of the night. 1276 01:40:01,080 --> 01:40:04,993 The Walrus and the Carpenter were walking close at hand. 1277 01:40:05,080 --> 01:40:08,914 They wept like anything to see Such quantities of sand. 1278 01:40:09,000 --> 01:40:12,390 If this were only cleared away... 1279 01:40:12,480 --> 01:40:14,357 It really would be grand! 1280 01:40:14,440 --> 01:40:18,479 If seven maids with seven mops swept it for half a year, 1281 01:40:18,600 --> 01:40:22,912 do you suppose that they could get it clear? 1282 01:40:23,160 --> 01:40:25,151 I doubt it very much... 1283 01:40:25,680 --> 01:40:28,240 And he shed a bitter tear. 1284 01:40:35,920 --> 01:40:36,909 Sorry! 1285 01:40:39,840 --> 01:40:40,875 Hello! 1286 01:40:41,840 --> 01:40:43,990 Oooo! 1287 01:40:45,680 --> 01:40:49,559 Oh Oysters, will you walk with us? 1288 01:40:49,720 --> 01:40:51,392 The Walrus did beseech. 1289 01:40:51,880 --> 01:40:56,715 A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk along the briny beach. 1290 01:40:57,120 --> 01:41:02,592 But we cannot do with more than four, to give a hand to each. 1291 01:41:02,800 --> 01:41:05,917 The eldest Oyster looked at him, but never a word he said. 1292 01:41:09,680 --> 01:41:13,150 Meaning to say he did not choose to leave the oyster-bed. 1293 01:41:14,840 --> 01:41:18,799 But four young Oysters hurried up, all eager for the treat. 1294 01:41:18,920 --> 01:41:21,036 Their coats were brushed, their faces washed, 1295 01:41:21,120 --> 01:41:24,351 Their shoes were clean and neat, and this was odd. 1296 01:41:24,400 --> 01:41:25,719 And why was that? 1297 01:41:25,800 --> 01:41:27,597 Because they hadn't any feet. 1298 01:41:29,480 --> 01:41:35,476 "The time has come", the Walrus said, "to talk of many things." 1299 01:41:35,600 --> 01:41:39,070 Of shoes and ships and sealing wax. 1300 01:41:39,200 --> 01:41:42,988 Of cabbages and king. 1301 01:41:43,480 --> 01:41:47,712 And why the sea is boiling hot, 1302 01:41:47,800 --> 01:41:51,839 And whether pigs have wings. 1303 01:41:52,520 --> 01:41:56,479 "Wait a bit!" the Oysters cried, "before we have our chat." 1304 01:41:56,560 --> 01:42:00,189 For some of us are out of breath, and all of us are fat. 1305 01:42:01,160 --> 01:42:03,151 There really is no hurry. 1306 01:42:03,280 --> 01:42:05,510 We thank you very much for that. 1307 01:42:05,640 --> 01:42:08,632 A slice of bread is what we chiefly need. 1308 01:42:08,720 --> 01:42:13,919 Pepper and vinegar besides are very good indeed. 1309 01:42:14,040 --> 01:42:19,592 So if you're ready, Oysters dear, we can begin to feed. 1310 01:42:20,280 --> 01:42:22,635 But not on us! Not on us! 1311 01:42:22,720 --> 01:42:25,234 See we're turning a little blue. 1312 01:42:25,360 --> 01:42:29,672 After such kindness, that would be a dismal thing to do! 1313 01:42:29,760 --> 01:42:35,676 Yes, it was very kind of you to come! And you're very nice 1314 01:42:35,760 --> 01:42:39,309 Give another slice, my friend give us another slice. 1315 01:42:39,400 --> 01:42:43,359 I wish you were not quite so deaf, I've had to ask you twice! 1316 01:42:44,440 --> 01:42:50,072 Well, it seems a shame I must confess to play them such a trick. 1317 01:42:50,400 --> 01:42:55,554 When we've brought them so far, and made them trot so quick! 1318 01:42:56,960 --> 01:43:01,431 Look at this, oh look at this The butter's spread too thick! 1319 01:43:02,320 --> 01:43:09,320 I weep for you, I really do: I deeply sympathize 1320 01:43:12,000 --> 01:43:16,118 With sobs and tears he sorted out those of the largest size. 1321 01:43:16,200 --> 01:43:19,954 Holding his pocket handkerchief before his streaming eyes. 1322 01:43:20,080 --> 01:43:21,354 Oh Oysters, 1323 01:43:22,200 --> 01:43:25,590 I have to say, you've had a pleasant run! 1324 01:43:26,080 --> 01:43:28,230 Shall we be trotting home again! 1325 01:43:28,600 --> 01:43:31,160 But answer came there none. 1326 01:43:31,280 --> 01:43:33,840 And this was scarcely odd because 1327 01:43:34,080 --> 01:43:36,992 They'd eaten every one. 1328 01:43:39,880 --> 01:43:44,829 O woeful, weeping Walrus, your tears are all a sham. 1329 01:43:44,960 --> 01:43:48,919 You're greedier for oysters than children are for jam. 1330 01:43:55,560 --> 01:43:56,834 So what's the verdict? 1331 01:43:58,520 --> 01:44:00,590 I like the Walrus best 1332 01:44:00,680 --> 01:44:03,638 because he did feel a little sorry for the oysters. 1333 01:44:04,080 --> 01:44:07,311 Chaa! He ate more than Carpenter. 1334 01:44:07,720 --> 01:44:11,235 In that case I like Carpenter better... 1335 01:44:11,320 --> 01:44:13,709 if he didn't eat as many as Walrus. 1336 01:44:14,160 --> 01:44:15,752 He ate as many as he could get. 1337 01:44:16,080 --> 01:44:18,594 Then they're both very nasty characters... 1338 01:44:19,840 --> 01:44:20,795 Duh! 1339 01:44:28,600 --> 01:44:30,272 Is that a lion or a tiger? 1340 01:44:31,080 --> 01:44:32,069 Worse! 1341 01:44:33,040 --> 01:44:33,836 What is it? 1342 01:44:34,120 --> 01:44:35,872 It was the Red King snoring. 1343 01:44:36,440 --> 01:44:39,238 Yes he's the King of Heart's lazy, no-good brother. 1344 01:44:39,320 --> 01:44:40,753 Every family has one. 1345 01:44:40,840 --> 01:44:41,829 Except ours... 1346 01:44:41,960 --> 01:44:43,598 We've got two. 1347 01:44:44,360 --> 01:44:45,793 Come let's have a look at him. 1348 01:44:59,360 --> 01:45:01,396 He'll catch a cold lying there. 1349 01:45:01,640 --> 01:45:03,835 He won't mind, he's dreaming about you. 1350 01:45:03,920 --> 01:45:05,592 You're only a sort of thing in his dream. 1351 01:45:05,720 --> 01:45:08,917 Yes if he woke up now, you'd go out... puff! 1352 01:45:10,280 --> 01:45:11,474 I would not! 1353 01:45:11,520 --> 01:45:15,195 Besides if I'm only a sort of thing in his dream, then what are you two?! 1354 01:45:21,080 --> 01:45:21,910 I'm going! 1355 01:45:24,200 --> 01:45:25,758 Well, all's well that ends well. 1356 01:45:28,280 --> 01:45:30,032 What is that?! 1357 01:45:33,800 --> 01:45:34,915 It's your rattle. 1358 01:45:35,000 --> 01:45:37,150 You left it in the grass! 1359 01:45:37,720 --> 01:45:38,994 It looks a bit battered. 1360 01:45:39,680 --> 01:45:42,672 Uh! It's spoilt! 1361 01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:45,753 Don't get so upset about an old rattle. 1362 01:45:45,840 --> 01:45:48,593 Old! It isn't old! 1363 01:45:48,840 --> 01:45:52,116 I bought yesterday. It's brand spanking new! 1364 01:45:54,320 --> 01:45:55,753 There's only one thing for it. 1365 01:45:57,240 --> 01:45:58,389 Get a new one. 1366 01:45:58,480 --> 01:46:00,118 Nothing so simple. No, no, no. 1367 01:46:00,160 --> 01:46:03,755 We have to fight for the honour of the Tweedles. 1368 01:46:04,040 --> 01:46:04,950 Right! 1369 01:46:06,400 --> 01:46:11,428 Ned Tweedledum versus the superior strength and skill of Fred Tweedledee. 1370 01:46:11,880 --> 01:46:13,996 Frankly it's a bitone-sided. 1371 01:46:14,040 --> 01:46:17,589 I know... I was an advisor to the British Army. Wha! 1372 01:46:17,680 --> 01:46:20,035 I advised them not to take him but they wouldn't listen. 1373 01:46:20,560 --> 01:46:22,790 This is fighting talk. 1374 01:46:27,720 --> 01:46:32,316 Urrrrxxx... knikk... grrrrrgninch... so is this! 1375 01:46:33,400 --> 01:46:38,190 She must help us dress for it... amour... to protect our vital parts. 1376 01:46:43,240 --> 01:46:47,472 Whatever the outcome dear brother, I shall remember you in my will. 1377 01:46:47,560 --> 01:46:51,838 No money of course, but I shall write "I remember you Fred". 1378 01:46:52,360 --> 01:46:56,478 I appreciate the thought but I'd rather have the cash, Ned. 1379 01:46:59,800 --> 01:47:01,518 Why are you only wearing one sock? 1380 01:47:02,160 --> 01:47:03,229 I'm trying to save money. 1381 01:47:04,920 --> 01:47:05,955 Do I look pale? 1382 01:47:06,920 --> 01:47:07,796 A little. 1383 01:47:07,960 --> 01:47:11,236 Generally of course I'm very brave but today I have a headache. 1384 01:47:11,960 --> 01:47:14,679 And I've got a... a toothache... 1385 01:47:14,760 --> 01:47:16,239 Which makes us even! 1386 01:47:16,800 --> 01:47:18,631 You'd better not fight today then. 1387 01:47:18,720 --> 01:47:21,598 Oh, we must have a bit of a fight, it's expected 1388 01:47:22,080 --> 01:47:23,752 And all because of a rattle! 1389 01:47:23,840 --> 01:47:26,593 Yes, well I wouldn't have minded but it was brand new! 1390 01:47:26,760 --> 01:47:29,149 It seems a bit petty. 1391 01:47:29,240 --> 01:47:32,516 Yes, indeed! That's exactly why it's so important. 1392 01:47:34,920 --> 01:47:36,672 Arrghh! 1393 01:48:16,840 --> 01:48:18,671 The Blues! 1394 01:48:18,760 --> 01:48:20,318 The Blues! 1395 01:48:55,200 --> 01:48:56,428 It's the crow! 1396 01:48:56,840 --> 01:48:59,274 The monstrous crow! 1397 01:49:25,120 --> 01:49:27,998 Alice, you are hereby and forewith summoned 1398 01:49:28,040 --> 01:49:30,759 to attend the trial of Sir Jack, the Knave of Hearts. 1399 01:49:51,680 --> 01:49:52,954 How do I look? 1400 01:49:53,080 --> 01:49:55,389 Too early to say. 1401 01:50:09,760 --> 01:50:12,433 Try it again on soprano-sax. 1402 01:50:29,160 --> 01:50:30,354 What are they doing? 1403 01:50:30,520 --> 01:50:33,876 They can't have anything to write, the trial hasn't begun yet. 1404 01:50:33,960 --> 01:50:35,473 They're putting down their own names 1405 01:50:35,560 --> 01:50:38,472 in case they forget them by the time the trial is over. 1406 01:50:40,000 --> 01:50:41,558 Stupid things. 1407 01:50:42,600 --> 01:50:44,670 How do you spell stupid? 1408 01:50:44,920 --> 01:50:47,309 S-T... 1409 01:50:47,960 --> 01:50:48,995 What's after T? 1410 01:50:49,160 --> 01:50:52,869 Dinner! Is it dinner time? 1411 01:50:52,960 --> 01:50:54,313 It's dinner time! 1412 01:50:54,440 --> 01:50:55,634 No it isn't. 1413 01:50:56,760 --> 01:50:58,375 I was sure it was dinner time, my stomach 1414 01:50:58,376 --> 01:50:59,790 feels like my throat's been cut... 1415 01:50:59,791 --> 01:51:00,570 Silence in Court! 1416 01:51:08,520 --> 01:51:11,398 Quiet! Silent! 1417 01:51:17,400 --> 01:51:21,188 It's your own fault Cedric. You're too easy. 1418 01:51:21,320 --> 01:51:24,756 Chop off more heads. It's wonderful! 1419 01:51:24,920 --> 01:51:27,593 Chop, chop and there's blood everywhere... 1420 01:51:28,400 --> 01:51:30,470 It makes you proud to be Queen. 1421 01:51:31,160 --> 01:51:31,990 He missed! 1422 01:51:32,080 --> 01:51:35,152 Oh he did? Nevermind, I felt it anyway. 1423 01:51:35,280 --> 01:51:37,191 I'm not going to be called, am I? 1424 01:51:37,320 --> 01:51:38,878 Called what? 1425 01:51:38,960 --> 01:51:42,077 I don't want to stand up in front of all these people. 1426 01:51:42,160 --> 01:51:43,354 Why am I here? 1427 01:51:43,920 --> 01:51:46,878 To save Jack from a death worse than fate. 1428 01:51:49,040 --> 01:51:50,837 Clerk of the Court, read the accusation! 1429 01:51:53,600 --> 01:51:56,592 The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts. 1430 01:51:56,640 --> 01:51:58,835 All on a summer day. 1431 01:51:59,000 --> 01:52:02,390 The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts. 1432 01:52:02,480 --> 01:52:04,835 And took them right away... 1433 01:52:04,920 --> 01:52:06,319 Oh, I confess! 1434 01:52:06,400 --> 01:52:07,469 I didn't do it! 1435 01:52:07,800 --> 01:52:10,951 And I'm glad, glad, glad I didn't do it! 1436 01:52:11,600 --> 01:52:15,957 And if I had my time again, I probably still wouldn't do it. 1437 01:52:16,560 --> 01:52:19,120 Bang! An open and shut case. 1438 01:52:19,200 --> 01:52:20,872 That can't be right! 1439 01:52:20,960 --> 01:52:22,552 Did you say something, Alice? 1440 01:52:22,640 --> 01:52:24,278 No. 1441 01:52:24,360 --> 01:52:25,475 I'm glad that's over. 1442 01:52:25,600 --> 01:52:29,036 Members of the jury, twelve good pigs and true 1443 01:52:29,160 --> 01:52:32,197 you must retire and consider your verdict. 1444 01:52:32,360 --> 01:52:34,157 - Not yet! - Why not? 1445 01:52:34,680 --> 01:52:37,035 There's a great deal more to come before you can say that. 1446 01:52:37,800 --> 01:52:41,588 That's odd - not to say strange. 1447 01:52:42,040 --> 01:52:46,716 Gentlemen of the jury it's obvious the accused is guilty. 1448 01:52:47,600 --> 01:52:52,390 Put aside the evidence and look at his face... 1449 01:52:52,760 --> 01:52:56,275 It is the face of a habitual criminal. 1450 01:52:56,360 --> 01:52:59,636 A hardened felon, a recalcitrant rogue... 1451 01:53:00,760 --> 01:53:02,398 What is it? 1452 01:53:02,480 --> 01:53:04,948 We're lawyers for the defence! 1453 01:53:05,080 --> 01:53:08,277 Oh, I... er... rest my case. 1454 01:53:08,520 --> 01:53:09,919 Call the first witness. 1455 01:53:10,040 --> 01:53:11,996 Call the first witness! 1456 01:53:12,200 --> 01:53:14,395 CALL the first witness! 1457 01:53:14,440 --> 01:53:16,317 Call the first witness! 1458 01:53:16,360 --> 01:53:18,157 Call the first witness! 1459 01:53:18,760 --> 01:53:20,398 Call the first witness! 1460 01:53:21,200 --> 01:53:23,191 Call the first witness! 1461 01:53:23,640 --> 01:53:26,074 Call the first witness! 1462 01:53:30,080 --> 01:53:30,751 Good day! 1463 01:53:30,960 --> 01:53:31,597 Good day! 1464 01:53:31,680 --> 01:53:32,829 Snap! 1465 01:53:33,880 --> 01:53:36,189 I'm sorry about bringing these things in with me 1466 01:53:36,280 --> 01:53:39,397 but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for. 1467 01:53:39,600 --> 01:53:41,431 He never finishes his tea. 1468 01:53:41,560 --> 01:53:45,473 It isn't healthy, all those cucumber sandwiches. Look at his legs! 1469 01:53:45,800 --> 01:53:46,630 I can't. 1470 01:53:46,720 --> 01:53:47,835 That's what I mean! 1471 01:53:47,920 --> 01:53:50,070 He's got a case of "cucumber legs". 1472 01:53:50,160 --> 01:53:53,675 The worst I've ever seen and I've seen a few in my time. 1473 01:53:53,800 --> 01:53:55,995 Well you're a fine one to talk tubby! 1474 01:53:56,080 --> 01:53:57,911 You ought to have finished tea. 1475 01:53:58,120 --> 01:53:59,519 What time did you start? 1476 01:53:59,600 --> 01:54:01,238 I'll have to ask Mr Hare. 1477 01:54:01,280 --> 01:54:02,190 Send for him... 1478 01:54:06,080 --> 01:54:07,295 I didn't finish the sentence. 1479 01:54:07,440 --> 01:54:09,056 You haven't passed one yet, Your Majesty. 1480 01:54:09,057 --> 01:54:10,671 Oh, that's right. 1481 01:54:10,880 --> 01:54:13,553 When did we start tea? Fourteenth, wasn't it? 1482 01:54:13,800 --> 01:54:14,789 Fifteenth. 1483 01:54:14,920 --> 01:54:15,989 Sixteenth. 1484 01:54:16,240 --> 01:54:17,753 Write that down. 1485 01:54:19,040 --> 01:54:21,600 Fourteen, fifteen and sixteen. 1486 01:54:22,680 --> 01:54:26,958 Fourteen, fifteen and sixteen. 1487 01:54:27,040 --> 01:54:34,040 Now, subtract, multiply, and convert to grams and kilos. 1488 01:54:36,360 --> 01:54:38,191 What's the answer? 1489 01:54:39,920 --> 01:54:41,638 They're slow. 1490 01:54:41,760 --> 01:54:44,149 They should be able to do it in their heads. 1491 01:54:44,480 --> 01:54:46,232 Off with them. 1492 01:54:51,440 --> 01:54:54,238 That hat! Disrespect of this Court. Take it off! 1493 01:54:54,720 --> 01:54:56,870 And his head with it. 1494 01:54:57,000 --> 01:54:58,797 I can't, Your Honour. 1495 01:54:58,920 --> 01:55:00,353 Why can't you take it off, pray? 1496 01:55:00,440 --> 01:55:01,475 It isn't mine. 1497 01:55:01,600 --> 01:55:03,272 Stolen! 1498 01:55:03,560 --> 01:55:05,278 Members of the Jury, write that down! 1499 01:55:07,080 --> 01:55:10,629 Stolen hat, one. This man is a self-confessed thief 1500 01:55:12,040 --> 01:55:14,952 and he has the gall to come into this court as a character witness! 1501 01:55:15,040 --> 01:55:16,712 The King seems very prejudiced. 1502 01:55:16,800 --> 01:55:18,119 Oh thank you, Alice. 1503 01:55:18,160 --> 01:55:20,515 That's what makes me so eminently qualified to be a judge. 1504 01:55:20,560 --> 01:55:21,390 Oh yes! 1505 01:55:21,480 --> 01:55:23,391 Don't I know you? 1506 01:55:27,040 --> 01:55:31,192 I sell hats. I've none of my own. 1507 01:55:31,240 --> 01:55:32,559 I'm um um a hatter. 1508 01:55:32,640 --> 01:55:35,459 Then why didn't you say so. That's the first thing you should've said. 1509 01:55:40,600 --> 01:55:44,309 Now give us your evidence. 1510 01:55:45,400 --> 01:55:46,515 Don't be nervous... 1511 01:55:46,640 --> 01:55:47,755 Oh no no no... 1512 01:55:47,840 --> 01:55:50,195 Or we'll execute you on the spot. 1513 01:55:55,760 --> 01:55:57,239 I'm not nervous. 1514 01:55:57,400 --> 01:55:59,755 I've nothing to hide. 1515 01:56:00,160 --> 01:56:02,355 Done my duty, served my country... 1516 01:56:02,480 --> 01:56:04,277 I do know you. 1517 01:56:06,080 --> 01:56:09,755 Didn't we meet in Biarritz in the summer of '41? Or wasn't it Heidelberg? 1518 01:56:09,840 --> 01:56:11,034 Hatter! Your evidence! 1519 01:56:11,280 --> 01:56:13,396 He' s just making him more nervous. 1520 01:56:13,680 --> 01:56:15,352 Stay calm, Mr Hatter! 1521 01:56:15,920 --> 01:56:20,311 I'm a poor man, Your Honour, and I haven't had my tea. 1522 01:56:20,680 --> 01:56:24,229 And what with the sandwiches getting ruined after being eaten once... 1523 01:56:24,320 --> 01:56:26,151 and the twinkling of the tea cups... 1524 01:56:26,280 --> 01:56:27,395 Twinkling? 1525 01:56:27,520 --> 01:56:29,590 You're the "Twinkler"! 1526 01:56:30,040 --> 01:56:36,593 I remember, you sang at my concert "Twinkle, twinkle little..." 1527 01:56:38,520 --> 01:56:40,112 Twinkle, Twinkle little gnat. 1528 01:56:40,200 --> 01:56:41,792 How I wonder what you're at. 1529 01:56:41,840 --> 01:56:45,355 You are very small indeed you can vanish up my sleeve. 1530 01:56:45,440 --> 01:56:47,078 Up my sleeve, up my sleeve. 1531 01:56:47,120 --> 01:56:52,319 You can vanish up my sleeve. 1532 01:57:00,640 --> 01:57:02,073 We don't do encores. 1533 01:57:02,200 --> 01:57:05,351 But we're available for weddings and funerals. 1534 01:57:05,480 --> 01:57:11,589 You did sing at my concert. But this was even worse! 1535 01:57:12,440 --> 01:57:14,431 I've been practicing! 1536 01:57:15,680 --> 01:57:19,229 It's an of fence against all we hold dear. 1537 01:57:19,920 --> 01:57:26,519 Cedric, this man ruined my concert just as he's ruining your trial! 1538 01:57:26,680 --> 01:57:28,716 Oh! Sire, I'm a poor man, 1539 01:57:28,800 --> 01:57:31,951 I stand before you full of remorse and malnutrition. 1540 01:57:32,000 --> 01:57:33,752 When Mr March Hare said... 1541 01:57:33,920 --> 01:57:34,909 I deny it! 1542 01:57:35,000 --> 01:57:35,830 I object. 1543 01:57:35,880 --> 01:57:36,790 Objection denied. 1544 01:57:36,920 --> 01:57:37,796 Ask Dormouse. 1545 01:57:37,880 --> 01:57:38,995 Ask Dormouse what? 1546 01:57:39,040 --> 01:57:39,916 I can't remember. 1547 01:57:40,000 --> 01:57:42,036 You must remember or I'll have you executed! 1548 01:57:42,280 --> 01:57:44,077 Stand your ground, Mr Hatter! 1549 01:57:45,080 --> 01:57:48,550 I'm a very poor man, Your Majesty. 1550 01:57:48,760 --> 01:57:50,751 And a very poor actor! 1551 01:57:50,880 --> 01:57:52,438 Ooooo. 1552 01:57:52,680 --> 01:57:54,033 Suppress that cheering. 1553 01:58:05,600 --> 01:58:08,194 If that's all you know, you may stand down. 1554 01:58:08,280 --> 01:58:10,874 Well I can't get down any lower, I'm on the floor as it is. 1555 01:58:10,960 --> 01:58:11,836 You may go. 1556 01:58:11,920 --> 01:58:13,639 Would you like another chorus of "Twinkle"? 1557 01:58:13,680 --> 01:58:14,335 GO! 1558 01:58:15,080 --> 01:58:17,275 Take off his head outside! 1559 01:58:17,640 --> 01:58:18,834 Call the next witness. 1560 01:58:19,280 --> 01:58:20,269 What about me? 1561 01:58:20,360 --> 01:58:21,998 What about you? 1562 01:58:23,880 --> 01:58:25,632 I'm the accused. 1563 01:58:25,720 --> 01:58:28,359 All you do is call witnesses! 1564 01:58:28,440 --> 01:58:29,759 It's not fair. 1565 01:58:29,840 --> 01:58:31,876 I should have the most important part here. 1566 01:58:32,400 --> 01:58:34,960 I haven't said a word for pages and pages... 1567 01:58:35,440 --> 01:58:37,749 What did you want to say? 1568 01:58:38,080 --> 01:58:41,117 I'd just like you to know that I have no need to steal. 1569 01:58:41,200 --> 01:58:44,237 I'm independently wealthy. 1570 01:58:44,320 --> 01:58:47,232 I've all the money I need for the rest of my life 1571 01:58:47,640 --> 01:58:50,108 provided I die by one am tomorrow morning... 1572 01:58:56,200 --> 01:58:58,191 We'll try and arrange it. 1573 01:58:58,520 --> 01:59:00,511 Well, that's all right then. 1574 01:59:02,680 --> 01:59:04,318 Jack's an idiot. 1575 01:59:04,400 --> 01:59:05,753 He's your nephew. 1576 01:59:05,880 --> 01:59:08,269 Only on my Father's side. 1577 01:59:20,640 --> 01:59:22,835 That's my cook. How dare she! 1578 01:59:32,080 --> 01:59:33,513 Give your evidence. 1579 01:59:33,640 --> 01:59:34,629 Shan't! 1580 01:59:35,880 --> 01:59:37,029 Shan't? 1581 01:59:37,120 --> 01:59:38,838 Shan't... shan't! 1582 01:59:40,160 --> 01:59:40,956 What now? 1583 01:59:41,040 --> 01:59:43,759 Your worship must cross-examine the witness. 1584 01:59:43,840 --> 01:59:46,673 - Oh must I? - Be a man, Cedric. 1585 01:59:46,760 --> 01:59:48,398 Be a man! 1586 01:59:49,160 --> 01:59:50,878 Oh, very well. 1587 01:59:52,280 --> 01:59:53,793 What are the tarts made of? 1588 01:59:54,800 --> 01:59:59,749 Ere what about repeating the question, kind sir? 1589 01:59:59,880 --> 02:00:02,997 I recognize your accent... Girton College? 1590 02:00:03,080 --> 02:00:05,548 No, I went to Oxford, Misses. 1591 02:00:05,600 --> 02:00:08,398 You poor devil, and what did you study? 1592 02:00:08,520 --> 02:00:11,239 Ow to speak like this! 1593 02:00:19,240 --> 02:00:21,834 The witness will answer the question. What are the tarts made of? 1594 02:00:21,920 --> 02:00:23,558 Pepper, mostly. 1595 02:00:24,080 --> 02:00:25,195 Treacle. 1596 02:00:25,280 --> 02:00:26,315 What did he say? 1597 02:00:26,360 --> 02:00:27,634 Treacle! 1598 02:00:27,680 --> 02:00:29,159 That's Mr Dormouse! 1599 02:00:29,240 --> 02:00:32,198 He's no right to be here. Off with his whiskers! 1600 02:00:32,280 --> 02:00:33,429 Call the next witness! 1601 02:00:33,520 --> 02:00:35,795 Call Alice! 1602 02:01:06,160 --> 02:01:07,195 I'm sorry. 1603 02:01:07,920 --> 02:01:09,638 What's the matter Alice? 1604 02:01:10,400 --> 02:01:12,994 I don't like being called up here like this. 1605 02:01:13,120 --> 02:01:15,588 I should like it, if it happened to me. 1606 02:01:15,680 --> 02:01:18,990 Yes, most people like being the centre of attention. 1607 02:01:19,040 --> 02:01:24,637 Now, what do you know about this business with the tarts? 1608 02:01:25,680 --> 02:01:27,352 Nothing whatsoever! 1609 02:01:28,080 --> 02:01:29,672 That's very important. 1610 02:01:29,760 --> 02:01:32,194 Unimportant, Your Majesty. 1611 02:01:32,320 --> 02:01:35,073 Unimportant, of course, is what I mean to say... 1612 02:01:35,240 --> 02:01:36,878 Unimportant. 1613 02:01:38,920 --> 02:01:40,751 Unimportant. 1614 02:01:41,200 --> 02:01:42,679 Important. 1615 02:01:43,240 --> 02:01:44,958 Unimportant. 1616 02:01:45,040 --> 02:01:48,828 I've told you all I know. I'd like to go back to my seat now. 1617 02:01:48,920 --> 02:01:51,798 We're moved by your plea, but I am reminded of Rule Forty-Two: 1618 02:01:51,880 --> 02:01:55,714 All persons more than a mile high have to leave Wonderland. 1619 02:01:55,800 --> 02:01:57,438 I'm not a mile high. 1620 02:01:57,520 --> 02:01:58,999 You are. 1621 02:01:59,080 --> 02:02:01,116 More like two miles high! 1622 02:02:01,160 --> 02:02:02,832 You just invented that rule. 1623 02:02:02,880 --> 02:02:04,472 It's the oldest rule in the book. 1624 02:02:04,600 --> 02:02:06,716 Then it should be Rule Number One! 1625 02:02:07,600 --> 02:02:11,149 Careful Cedric, they're taking over the Court, 1626 02:02:11,280 --> 02:02:14,078 especially that girl. 1627 02:02:15,200 --> 02:02:16,519 Punish somebody. 1628 02:02:16,760 --> 02:02:19,399 You've too much to say for yourself Alice. 1629 02:02:20,200 --> 02:02:23,749 Jury consider your verdict. 1630 02:02:23,880 --> 02:02:29,671 No! Sentence first, verdict after. 1631 02:02:29,760 --> 02:02:31,113 That's stupid! 1632 02:02:31,800 --> 02:02:33,711 Have a care, Alice! 1633 02:02:33,840 --> 02:02:36,195 I can't let you condemn an innocent man. 1634 02:02:36,320 --> 02:02:38,436 Why not? It happens all the time. 1635 02:02:38,760 --> 02:02:39,954 Off with her... 1636 02:02:40,040 --> 02:02:41,871 Don't keep shouting "Off with her head" 1637 02:02:41,920 --> 02:02:44,753 in case someone shouts "Off with yours". 1638 02:02:45,320 --> 02:02:48,790 You've lost your last chance of staying here. 1639 02:02:48,880 --> 02:02:51,917 It's back to the real world for you, young lady! 1640 02:02:51,960 --> 02:02:53,154 I don't care! 1641 02:02:53,360 --> 02:02:56,875 All the tarts are here so how could the prisoner have stolen them?! 1642 02:02:56,960 --> 02:02:58,916 There is no crime! 1643 02:03:00,160 --> 02:03:03,470 Alice! Don't you care what people think? 1644 02:03:04,640 --> 02:03:06,153 Not when I'm right. 1645 02:03:06,280 --> 02:03:08,475 Are you so confident, young lady? 1646 02:03:08,560 --> 02:03:10,039 Yes I am. 1647 02:03:11,000 --> 02:03:13,389 Yes I am confident! 1648 02:03:15,680 --> 02:03:18,956 Then you don't need us anymore. 1649 02:04:08,360 --> 02:04:09,509 Alice! 1650 02:04:10,600 --> 02:04:11,794 Alice! 1651 02:04:12,920 --> 02:04:14,194 I'm coming 1652 02:04:27,640 --> 02:04:29,756 I'm here, I'm here. 1653 02:04:29,800 --> 02:04:31,119 I'm back! Sorry, I'm late! 1654 02:04:31,160 --> 02:04:32,639 We were getting worried. 1655 02:04:38,560 --> 02:04:42,712 And now, our daughter, Alice, is going to sing for us. 1656 02:04:54,800 --> 02:04:57,394 It's "Cherry Ripe" isn't it, dear? 1657 02:05:15,520 --> 02:05:16,635 No. 1658 02:05:19,400 --> 02:05:20,992 I've got a better one. 1659 02:05:22,720 --> 02:05:26,315 "Will You Walk A Little Faster Said A Whiting To A Snail". 1660 02:05:26,840 --> 02:05:28,273 Are you sure, dear? 1661 02:05:28,360 --> 02:05:30,112 Yes, I'm sure. 1662 02:05:31,120 --> 02:05:36,797 "Will you walk a little faster?" Said a whiting to a snail, 1663 02:05:36,880 --> 02:05:42,432 There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail, 1664 02:05:42,480 --> 02:05:48,032 See how eagerly the lobster and the turtles all advance! 1665 02:05:48,080 --> 02:05:53,359 They are waiting on the shingle. Will you come and join the dance? 1666 02:05:53,400 --> 02:05:58,599 Will you won't you, will you, won't you, join the dance? 1667 02:05:58,640 --> 02:06:04,954 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, join the dance? 1668 02:06:05,040 --> 02:06:12,040 Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, join the dance? 1669 02:06:13,800 --> 02:06:15,358 Well done! 1670 02:06:16,160 --> 02:06:17,718 Enchanting!